Natalie Portman to the Rescue...NOT!!!

a really important share from May 31, 2009

Wow.  Natalie Portman.  This has to be the most screwed up part of the story.  On June 30, 2006 Nicole informs me that Natalie Portman thinks she is the Natalie that Sydney Rushakoff spoke to me about before almost all these girls were born.  I was sure Natalie Temkin was the Natalie he told me about.  Considering the description I remember he gave me (Jewish and Beautiful?) it could have been either.  Natalie Portman has the same birthday (June 9th) but the wrong year (1981) as Gloria.  What does that mean?  Natalie Portman is delusional.

I find it hard to believe Natalie Portman has any interest in me at all considering up until that conversation Natalie Portman is far too busy with herself and perhaps creating a suitable "wife of Jesus" reputation.  All I could tell you is she is incompatible and we both hate Nicole.  Nicole tells me Portman wants my Jeep.  I make a lot of Natalie Portman and I fall in love jokes.  I tell the people I had not seen "V for Vendetta" yet.  Apparently Portman thinks I should see the movie.

I think if Natalie Portman wants me so badly she can buy the Jeep from me.  By the time I am ready to sell the Jeep, because I need to, Natalie Portman has not showed up.  She has a friend that was apparently running interference for her.  You see, Natalie Portman is too busy and important for Defender of Israel.  "Natalie Raps"  was supposed to be her way of saying she is like me.  Or thinks of herself as Ms. Reaper, or something.  Whatever.  She must think I'm a sick puppy not the man who survived countless assassination attempts so she could build a strong reputation of being the children's ideal queen of something.  Portman's friend in the vicinity knew I was interested in either of them, but at some point it is time to "piss or get off the pot."  Trying to chase down Natalie Portman is not on my agenda.

Portman does not show up in the period of time of my tenancy at Marina Harbor, when people were trying to kill me and the Torah was changing.  Apparently she cannot find Phoenix.  At one point during my stay with the drug addicts and ex-cons of TLC I tell them I must be playing "Waiting for Portman.  So, where is she?"  I can tell they think this is really funny.

By the time I get back to Cali I have a few run-ins with crazy old ladies.  Eventually, I see Portman makes the cover of VOGUE.  As bizarre as that sounds, I know that must be a clue Portman is about to show up; just really late.  I could use a hand.  I am about to get canned at Pep Boys because this is the world of "accept abuse from crazy old ladies, Jesus." 

I go to the Post Office one morning on one of my last days at work.  I know they are about to fire me because a crazy old lady (not my boss) in the parking lot and I got into an argument.  This crazy old lady tells the store manager I called her "a bitch" which I did not and because I got angry the crazy old lady began to cry.  Doctors and lawyers move in because the crazy old lady cried.  And regardless of all the people I helped in my time at Pep Boys in Mesa and Thousand Oaks my job is about to be taken from me.  This is my version of what happened next.

Before I go to work I was running errands.  As I walk out of the Thousand Oaks Post Office Natalie Portman walks in.  I notice her and she smiles in that "Oh my God.  Jesus noticed me and was checking me out!" smile.  I walk into the parking lot and there is my Jeep Liberty, right in front.  I walk around it to be sure that Portman has in fact gained possession of my Jeep Liberty because making sure Nicole does not get it is the most important thing. No, that does not make any sense to me, either.

Talking to me in person should have been the top priority.  Portman takes it for granted I am going to survive the Charades and assassination attempts and thinks if she gets a piece of my property then that means I want her.  It's really late in the game, there is no script here because this is real, but I decide to give her the chance.  This is Natalie Portman we are talking about; she is a really important person.

As I come around the corner of my old vehicle Portman exits the post office and runs to the Jeep's front door. 

Me:  "Is that a 2002?"  I am smiling at her with my "Wow.  Natalie Portman finally has time for me" smile.  I could really use some help here.

Portman: "Yeah."  She stops dead in her tracks.

Me: "I used to drive that vehicle.  Do you like it?"  Despite all the abuse and nonsense I am still in control.

Portman: Falls back first onto the drive's door. She is quivering as if she has never been this scared in her life.  "Yeah.  It's nice." she manages to utter.  She is shaking very forcefully by the time she finishes that sentence.

Me: "Good."  I think, okay is this where we fall in love?  I am waiting for her to deliver the next line.  I thought I looked okay that day.  I really don't think I am that scary; I was smiling and looking back and forth at her and the Jeep.  I think something along the lines of "Show me what you got, Portman because I could really use some help now."  I was not thinking "ANI MOSCHIACH, BITCH!" 

I would have moved a bit closer but remained a respectable distance away, because it seemed if I took a step closer she would have a heart attack.  I wait and wait.  She seems to be getting more and more scared.  I wonder "Why she is so scared?"  I have no idea, but she is.  This is not going well.  I let her I know how I feel about this by giving her the "V for Vendetta" grin and walk off.  "V for Vendetta" was not my idea but it is one of those prophecy movies, made by the creators of the Matrix, no less.  She holds up both hands in a very melodramatic "Ugh! stay away" gesture with both hands, gets into the driver's seat of my old Jeep Liberty and drives off. 

It had to be Natalie Portman's worst audition ever. 

CONCLUSION:  BZZZZZZ!  NISHY'S NOT WORTHY!

By the power invested in me...

posted for real on May 30, 2009

BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME BY GOD YOU MUST KILL MAHONY AND RATZINGER. The world hangs in the balance. The timeline has been altered you have not delivered anything as directed by June 30, 2006. I delivered all that was necessary by June 30, 2007.

DOES THAT MAKE YOU NERVOUS, MINDY?

I Had A Stalker. Her Name Is Nicole

Shared for all of you to know May 28, 2009

My Dad, the shape-shifter, promised my Mom that he would set up a foundation in her name after she died.  I was glad to help with this project and did most of the form filing and grunt work for it.  Although we had hopes this would become a large fund to help disadvantaged women it remained a fairly modest program.  Once we accumulated enough funds to make a decent donation to women who could use some help in their education or career advancement we began advertising in small periodicals for applicants.

Applying the concepts of prayer, repentance and charity in our daily lives is extremely important.  Merely talking or typing about it only goes so far.  You have to do it; you have to live it for it to be really meaningful.  My Dad and I often spoke about ways we could raise more funds and reach a larger audience but keeping in mind the costs associated with fund raising is important.  As much as we wanted this to grow into something larger we never really envisioned it to be the primary focus of our lives.  There are so many worthy charities out there competing for donations we were realistic about how difficult it would be to grow into something very large.  Helping women who needed some financial assistance was what was important no matter how small the donation seemed to us.

The second year we ran this charity we donated to a woman I thought was outstanding.  Her application seemed exactly suited for our yearly donation.  The women we chose had to be interviewed by my Dad, my sister, and me simultaneously.  If she could put up with that and survive then she would get the money.  I found this woman exceptionally attractive.  Women from my Mom's homeland have a special place in my heart.  She was also working in a field that was related to work I did.  After we concluded the interview I knew I wanted to spend some time alone with her.  After letting some time pass after the interview I asked her out on a date and was glad she accepted my invitation. 

I remember picking her up and one of her neighbors giving me the third degree.  Why what she did was his business was a bit unclear to me but for some reason this guy felt it necessary to protect her.  She finally made her way to my Jeep and we drove to the restaurant at the Grove.  There was a bit of that first date nervous tension which I broke with a joke about falafel.  Her laugh made me feel good and I got the feeling this date was going in the right direction.  I parked it in the Grove's parking lot.

When we got to the street level there was a crowd of about 30 people moving slowly like a death march.  My date, who does not really like crowds, cut through this obstruction quickly.  Her small stature and agile body sliced through it expertly.  I had to avoid people within this group with more difficulty as I struggled to keep up with her.  Halfway through this group of people I hear a "scuff scuff" of suede.  I look to my left.  There was Nicole with Talan's arm around her.  He looks at me and she looks away.  Apparently in her mind, if we do not make eye contact then it's like she's not really there.  It's a public place so I suppose this group of people are allowed there.  I just wish they wouldn't show up when I want to go on a first date with someone.

We get our seats at the restaurant and the diner seems to be going really well.  I am a flirt and given a chance I can make good headway in a short period of time.  At some point I realize she is getting uncomfortable.  I sense there is something going on to my right and I look over.

Nicole!

She's staring at us.  Her long, black, curly hair is framed by her infamous big glasses and hoodie combo.  I still know it's Nicole.  She is transfixed in a stare.  I gesture with my head, "Scram.  Get out of here."  Eventually she gets the message, crosses her arms and sulks off.  My date seems temporarily relieved but I can tell that she is disturbed that I have a stalker that I did not tell her about.  A short period of time after we concluded that date, I ask her out again, and without either of us making reference to the strange girl (who is a shape-shifter) that watched us she refused to go out with me again.

The Curse of Nicole had struck again.

Russian Scientist: UFO Crashed Into Meteorite to Save Earth

This was 70 years BEFORE Nicole was born. ROFLMAO! 
Do you blame her for that or was it just a cosmic warning?

Russian Scientist: UFO Crashed Into Meteorite to Save Earth (June 29, 1908)

The animals. Time, times, and half a time

shared on May 27, 2009

On June 30, 2006 I was reminded there would be a time where I would see three large raccoons and one small one.  I was asked to explain who and/or what they represented.  Just like the cows I saw on Interstate 5 so long ago I was asked to interpret them, but before I saw them.  There would be a nuclear family interpretation, local interpretation, and greater levels beyond that.  I did the best I could, but considering I was not expecting this question from the foul mouth demon I mistakenly chose to be my wife before she was born and who had already irrevocably ruined our relationship years before, I was not really at my best.  However, there has not been a woman in my life that has even come close to trying to take Nicole's place, I did indulge her.  But don't get confused; I do not really love this shape-shifter just because she took the time to harass me and screw (up) all the pieces of the puzzle that had been laid out for me decades before.  I knew there were other people that needed to hear the news.

One night, while sleeping at Marina Harbor I awoke and went out on the balcony.  I saw the three largest raccoons I had even seen in my life.  Raccoons are not that frequently seen in this part of town.  They appeared to be at least five feet in height to me.  There was one that was in front and two others that were following a few feet behind, walking side by side.  They were walking in the parking lot toward my balcony.  Although this type of formation of animals is familiar, I was still startled by their size and their approach.  Apparently, they sensed I was looking at them and they bolted to their left, my right.  There is a small group of bushes which separate the parking area from the zone where the fuel for the boats is stored.  The same area I was in when I had my encounter with Muhammad.  These bushes are not that large; I can tell there is not enough room for the immense raccoons to hide in.  But once they got to the bushes they disappeared into them.  That's when I was really astonished.  I knew ahead of time they would leave but they seemingly exited into another dimension.

I walked back into my apartment dumbfounded.  Were those raccoons real or was I still dreaming?  They looked real but I was still a bit confused as to their true nature.  I know raccoons can get very large but to see them at that location was virtually unheard of.  The way they disappeared also defied explanation.  That I saw them did not seem to add much of an explanation as to what it meant.  I decided to go back to sleep and perhaps getting some rest would help me figure this puzzle out completely.

I had a difficult time sleeping and was awake about an hour later.  I went out on the balcony again.  A smaller raccoon, much closer to normal size, was at the far end of the parking lot from my apartment.  I saw it emerge from the awning covered spot where the park bench is located.  I saw it move from my right to my left and then it disappeared behind some cars in the parking lot.  I had witnessed the Raccoons with my naked eyes in time, times and half a time.

Now fast forward to the end of my tenancy at Marina Harbor.  I had already cut my ties with my Dad who is a shape-shifter and like Pharaoh to my Moses.  No one from shape-shifter Cleopatra's clan had bothered to show up, but a lot of people were playing Charades with me in the parking lot basically telling me what enormous whores all these people are.  Money and time were running out.  Soon it is time for the Holy Days.

I go to Chabad for Kol Nidre.  Before I go to services on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar I read the LA Times.  Three blue whales had died around Los Angeles county. One was going to be dragged up to Point Mgu for a necropsy.  It is difficult to describe the depth of my connection to the blue whales.  Back in 1996, they were believed to be extinct.  I told people we could pray them back.  Their population has made a steady comeback.  Knowing three had died in my vicinity gave me an anguish I cannot describe in words.  People who know about "animal signs" might call this one the largest one ever.  I decided that I want to see this animal, even though I might not be able to help much, because I am horrified that my suffering has resulted in what I would call three whale suicides to tell me, get the hell out of Los Angeles.  The crows had replaced the other birds in the neighborhood for a few months already.  People are obviously incapable of appreciating me.  Blame me for having blind faith in people.  The celebrity bitches cannot be bothered to help you, you should know by now.  Leave at once.
 
Going to Point Mgu is a violation of every rule associated with observing Yom Kippur.  I did not have much money and I was in more debt than I had ever accumulated before.  I arrive at the gate and I am not allowed in because I am not on the list.  How many times has the Messiah not been on the list?  I had emailed ahead of time.  The specialists never responded to my emails after I heard about the dead blue whales.  They must think I am an insane idiot or something.

I go there anyway because those whales meant more to me than any of you that never figured out you have to do what I told you to do.  Call it a type of demonstration or protest.  Do not ignore my warnings or innocent people will die.  But you avoided me anyway.  You prefer the violators to me.  Nicole, you thought the whales were the same as the worms in "Dune."  But the worms were alive when Paul transmuted the water of life in a movie.  My whales died because you showed me you really never loved me or appreciated what I did for you in 1996, before that, or after that. 

Abandoning me because you are arguing amongst yourselves, or are intimidated, or are too busy or for whatever reason is not acceptable to me, God, divine beings, or animals.  God has not forsaken me.  You are all a bunch of screw ups; you are all "Nervous Mindy."

There is no way I will forget the blue whales, ever.  Does anyone else have the courage to face me now and get real about accepting my demands?  No, obviously not.  I am surrounded by ignorant sacks of shit that only want cigarettes from me.  They still think their king is their brother.  They have no idea that they have made heroes out of people who obstructed justice but have made money selling clothing with their name on it.  I am just like anyone else here to them.  I have been hospitalized for a month and a half and no one has even bothered to ask if they can visit.  That speaks volumes.

Get ready folks; I am so easy to find and yet you have lost me.  The dark age is about to begin.

Perhaps you should get Radha (perfect little girl), Laxmi (one head, had two bodies), and Durga (one body, two faces) together.  Beg them to stop Kalki.  Even though Jesus Krishna, who is the voice of Kalki and commanded Kalki's finger in the sky, says you will fail, try this experiment.  What do you have to lose, except perhaps the Cosmos?  The three little girls are perfect.  They never did anything wrong, and besides, they are just little girl goddesses.  You can't really blame them for anything, right?  Men will line up and pay good money for the opportunity to have sex with them.  It's not like any rich girls would pay Jesus Krishna to have sex with them.  They just wanted his semen so they could have their own Jesus Baby without him. 

It's too dangerous to be around Jesus Krishna anyway.  The world abuses him and he has become a monster and a cartoon; he is unstable.  There are so many more men who are suitable.  If he is lonely, that can only be his fault, right?  Who cares if he lost all his money chasing after selfish bitches?  There must be someone out there for him, right?  He should get some help.

Maybe Jesus Krishna is the fickle one, women are not fickle, RIGHT?  Women know what they are doing, RIGHT?  Women should be running this world, RIGHT?  Especially THE LESBIANS, RIGHT?

THE HERO OF EVERY FAITH AND PATH HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MAN!

I Don't Need A Man, explained

blogged on May 26, 2009

There was an episode a few years ago when someone asked me, on Nicole's behalf, what I wanted.  I joked that I had not gotten laid in awhile and if she had money for it, she could send me a hooker.  I know that sounds bizarre but "little wife" from "Get Over Yourself" should have figured this one out.  The only requirement was that it not be her.  Keep in mind, people were telling me Nicole was engaged to this guy or was getting married to another guy and wanted to know what I thought about that.  She and I were supposed to get together later, and the first priority I had was to eliminate my evil sister because she had interfered too much in my life and almost screwed up the first saving of this world.  This is on top of the fact that she did try to get every single one of her scummy boyfriends to take me out.  That is the bizarre reality of SBK.  They all want me to die.

Leora could not help at all and even went so far as to try and seduce my roommate, whom she had no clue was her brother. The last thing I needed was to have to deal with that type of incestuous nonsense.  The soap opera was complicated enough as it was.  She did not know he was her brother; she just wanted to get involved and screw my roommate.  If only my shape-shifting Dad had a clue years ago, but then again he is a shape-shifter so he has changes of heart and mind all the time.  Gemini Moon only makes it worse.  My Mom was trying to tell her all this time, "Leave him alone."  My Mom had mentioned several times she thought my sister was confusing me.  That would be an understatement.  She would probably want to take credit for what I accomplished.  Her lies often make it sound like I copied her when she in fact has copied me.

Anyway, the first ho that showed up looked like a hermaphrodite to me.  I think she had male pectoral implants instead of standard breast implants and her attitude was all wrong.  She opened her trench coat in the hallway to reveal herself and had this "Don't you want some of this" attitude.  Thanks, ho.  I'm the Messiah; you are alive because of me.  How dare you come to my abode and act like I'm some dick that would screw a very experienced looking hermaphrodite?  On your knees, or at least be a little discreet about it.

You-know-who called up later and wanted to know why I did not like the gift.  I do not remember my exact words but I did let her know I was not interested in that gift.  I was also in the process of contacting Turakian Bitch and getting my sister eliminated.  I told people long ago, even though my sister HAD TO DIE I could not kill her myself.  Unfortunately, you-know-who had gotten word that I had made contact with Victoria and got jealous.  You-know-who was going to do something about it.  But as she always does, she was going to do it completely wrong.

Sometime after that, based on a subsequent conversation, I knew a "new package" was going to arrive that day.  Unfortunately, I got on the phone with my evil sister that day and she drove me up the wall as Satan Bitch Khomeini always does.  That day I was ready to kill.  If I could reach through the phone and kill her I would have.  She was doing her typical evil victim routine and blaming my deceased Mother for everything.  She was not following any of the things my Dad and I had told her and was causing a lot of painful drama.  She was a disaster after my Mom died.  A parasite needs a host.

Just a bit after I got off the phone with She-Haman there was a knock at the door and I opened it.  Nicole had stepped back and to the right and was standing there in a trench coat.  Without saying a word she opened it revealing a two piece outfit that might as well have been made out of dental floss.  My brain froze as I looked her over.  She looked really tasty but I could not shift gears mentally, and besides I specifically said that this present was not supposed to be her.  If I had taken her inside I thought I might hurt her.  You have to understand; Victoria was supposed to do what was scandalous, not Nicole.  Nicole the star, Victoria the queen.  But in retrospect, these two could not even get their roles straight so there is only so much I could do about it.  Surprising guys, especially me, at the wrong time can have serious consequences.

I struggled to say something to Nicole; I felt I was palming the world in one hand and trying to keep the plan in place without offending her.  I remember saying "This is not a good time."  In retrospect, that is really funny to me but it came from moment of mental anguish.  Thinking outside the box and not following instructions are not the same thing.  Sometimes they are, but not always.  So many girls just not following my lead has been what drives me insane.  Girls.  My weakness.  But if I reward bad behavior then it sets the wrong precedent and I would really have only myself to blame, right?

I walked past her.  Most guys would have taken her inside and had their way with her; the rest would have jumped her in the hallway and not cared who saw what.  She took this as a personal rejection, but I was just showing her that you have to do what I tell you in order to gain my love and respect.

She explained on June 30, 2006 that this episode was the motivation for "I Don't Need a Man" and why PCD was dressed in trench coats (secret agent prostitutes) for the "Wait A Minute" video.  Can they now explain why they could not help me in person and do no better than point at me from stage as people tried to kill me on the Back to Basics tour?  No, not really.  They really have no good excuse.  I gave them plenty of time.

Since when does Jimmy Iovine run my life?

Nicole, you should have sent Beyonce Knowles.

Analyzing Jesus

from the blog entry on May 22, 2009

There is so much going on in this world but sometimes I see the world as split in half.  Not necessarily the righteous and the wicked or right and wrong.  It is more like the people that think they understand me now and the people who are still dissecting Jesus.

Allow me to have a talk with those who are still dissecting Jesus.

Please be honest with me.  There are still so many things about Jesus we do not know.  It has been so much easier to study and analyze me compared to him.  It has been so much easier to follow and photograph me than him.  How can you claim you know him so much better than you know me?

Why are all the holy things associated with Jesus part of his death?  The shroud and the spear, specifically?  What about the things Jesus made with his own hands while he was alive?  Wouldn't those items be more worthwhile and valuable to analyze and preserve?  Wouldn't those things have some real holy power?

Jesus was a carpenter among other things, right?  Where are those items?  A dresser or a table or a bed box?  Didn't he make a cloak rack for someone?  Wouldn't be great to study some of Jesus' craftsmanship in those items?  Look!  Here is something Jesus made with his own hands.  Wouldn't those things be really valuable?  What happened to those items?  Did they all get destroyed?  Did people fight over them?

It is possible Jesus had customers that really didn't understand his preachy stuff but really liked what he could make out of wood?  Do you think those people told him he was causing unrest and should give up all this prophecy nonsense?  People would be better off if he just kept quiet, went about his business and acted like "a good little boy?"  "The Romans are in charge, Jesus.  What do you expect to do about it?" they might have said.  "I'm worried about you, brother."

How many scoffed at him?  How many claimed to be better than him, more powerful?  How many thought they could perform even better than he did?  When I think about Jesus of 2,000 years ago I imagine someone who did his work in the midst of incredible chaos and pressure.  People scoffing and cursing him constantly, not just when he was crucified.

Nowadays people hear about what I've done and ask if I have pictures of it.  Did you remember to video tape it while you are doing it?  Do you have photographs of what happened back in 1996?  You should have, you know, that would have been better.  The whole point of back then was I knew people were recording and photographing me then.  I didn't have to photograph myself.

I didn't really NEED the camera to fulfill a prophecy until 2006, right?

P.S.

Steve Fosett made a point of seeing me, without making an appointment, twice before he died.  He and I have an understanding; we would have been friends under different circumstances.  That's what I believed on June 30th, 2006.  He knows I did not think of him as my enemy but it's not like any of you wanted the nightmare to end for me anytime before he died.  He and I are now inextricably linked forever, and do you want to know the truth?

YOU WANTED HIM TO DIE!  ACCEPT THAT!  IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO HAVE THE VISION I DESCRIBED ON JUNE 30TH 2006 YOU WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO STOP THE INSANITY, BUT YOU WANTED TO SEE THOSE SCARY THINGS COME TRUE.  SCREW ALL OF YOU IDIOTIC BITCHES.  YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD MAKE ME YOUR OWN, PERSONAL, JESUS?  SOMEONE WHO HEARS YOUR PRAYERS, SOMEONE WHO CARES?  WHY DID YOU WAIT MORE THAN TEN YEARS BEFORE YOU EVEN LEFT ME A MESSAGE?  BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL PHONIES, THAT'S WHY.  STAY AWAY, ENGLISH SPEAKING FOOLS.  YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE.