First posted on March 8, 2008 for reading on MySpace
I think about you a lot these days.
And I think about your friends and family
and what happened to them.
I remember you calling me out on Venice Beach.
You cried. And you told me "We need you, man"
And I remember crying on my way back home.
It is eleven years after you were killed less than a mile from where I was.
I have done just about all I could.
There has been evidence of what I did all over the world.
But the world just doesn't want to give it up.
I think about,
Uhhhh, Cali ..... No Doubt.
Going back to Cali. I don't think so.
I'm going going back back to Cali Cali
We cannot even get that straight.
They just keep remixing it.
Did you know it would get so bad for me?
Did you know that my reward for saving the world
Would be increased suffering?
Did you know how much I would have to pay personally
For standing up for principles?
Did you know the girl was evil and would be the biggest embarrassment of my life?
You could have warned me, you know.
Is death the easy way out?
Why is it none of your hommies could make my life easier
And eliminate my sister?
Why did I have to explain to the guy that killed you, that it was wrong?
Is this making any sense?
You should see some of your old friends.
They look so cool.
But I am not so sure any of them are my friends.
Only a couple have the nerve to show their faces to me.
You should see Mary J.
She looks terrific and last year won three Grammys.
I saw her at LAX shortly afterward and amazingly no one seemed to know who she was.
It really blew my mind because it said a lot.
Diddy and Z need bodyguards, apparently.
And I wonder about that, too.
Somehow I am still alive.
After the visit from Muhammad
Commanding God's Finger In The Sky
Receiving Glowing Beads
and Genesis changing as I said it would
and a number of other miracles.
I got evicted.
Because people just do not know how to share with me.
I am somehow linked to inconceivable scandals
Not of my chosing.
Sometimes I am not sure God or the rest of the world has played me for a fool.
I know I will not be completely free until I die.
But I still have not given up.
But I fear for the rest of the world when I leave it.
It just might destroy itself anyway.
It gets really hard to distinguish the sinners from the saints.
And too many people want to worship girls.
They are just girls.
And none of them have accomplished anything close to what I have.
When is the world going to realize that?
And promote me to the position I deserve?
Jews are hoping for me, but not quite sure how to treat me.
Christians follow me around and stare.
And Muslims are also scrambling to figure it out.
Many think I am God, for all intents and purposes.
But they seem more content to worship little girls.
What is going on here?
So many people do not believe in God.
And yet there have been many more strange, mysterious and awesome things happening all over the world.
People keep telling me to do more and then do not like the outcome when I do what I say will and must be done.
Birds fly over my head so often now I have actually come to expect it.
When will the rest of the world wake up?