from my YouTube Channel


Thursday, December 30, 2010

Singling Out the Chosen People

I write this with a heavy heart.  This post is directed at Jews.  I was born Jewish, raised Jewish, and have practiced Judaism my entire life.  I have always been Jewish and always will be.  This post is not directed at Goyim (Jewish term for non-Jews) but might apply to you if you understand it.  It is not intended to fuel hatred towards Jews but to make important points clear to everyone.  At one point in 2006, I told someone, to tell someone else who was opposed to Jews to, “Leave them alone.  These are my people; leave them to me.”

The reason I have decided to write this post is to clarify some very important topics for people all over the world.  There have been so many misunderstandings over the years and it is my daunting task with this composition to cut through much of that.  There have been countless accusations and lies spread throughout history.  Much has been covered up and avoided.  I will attempt to not make this as much about me or historical arguments against Jews, but about what mistakes have been made during my lifetime.

I believe most people know what a Jew is.  I want to be clear here that I am not taking about Zionists.  For a long time, the term Zionist has been misused by many people and is now mostly a derogatory word that has an evil connotation.  Zion was always intended to be associated with holy.  That Zionism has become an epithet associated with unholy acts is one of the most unfortunate realities in the history of faith.  Despite the Zionist heritage of my family, I distinguish between Judaism and Zionism.  This post is direct at Jews.

I reject the notion that Judaism's importance has to do with culture or ethnicity.  Judaism is, and can only be, the practice of the Jewish religion.  Having grown up amongst Jews and encountered Jews from all over the world I can tell you what a "real Jew" is.  A Jew understands Judaism.  A Jew understands the role that prophets play in their faith.  A Jew believes in all miracles recorded in Scriptures.  A Jew knows and believes in God, the Most High, who lives forever with all his heart, with all his soul and with all his strength.

A person who calls himself Jewish but cannot be bothered to go to a synagogue even twelve times a year to observe the Sabbath with other Jews is not really a Jew.  A Jew that prays even less frequently than that, but says he feels Jewish just by eating a corned beef sandwich in a delicatessen is not a Jew.  A Jew who believes he can fulfill his obligation to Hashem all on one day, cannot be a Jew.  A Jew that feels Jewish when near Jerusalem, but not on the other side of the world is not a Jew.  A Jew that cannot pass a simple test on the events or commandments in the Torah (Five Books of Moses) is not a Jew.  A Jew who's most significant credentials for being Jewish is knowing a lot of Jewish jokes, is not really a Jew.  A person who only identifies as a Jew when he gets offended any time someone else makes an anti-Semitic remark, is not really a Jew.  A Jew that uses the Torah as a tarot deck is not a Jew.

A Jew believes in Hashem unequivocally.  A Jew believes Hashem gave the commandments in the Torah to Moshe.  A Jew understand the important role David played in Jewish history.  A Jew understands the lessons to be learned from studying the Prophets and Writings.  A Jew understands that “Chosen-ness” is a combination of privilege and responsibility.  A Jew respects those whose knowledge supersedes theirs.  A Jew understands that in Hashem's plan, prophets are more important than rabbis.  A Jew understands the vital importance of prayer, repentance and charity.  A Jew understands the difference between right and wrong.  A Jew knows the imperative of doing right all the time.  A Jew cannot blame someone else for all of their bad behavior.  A Jew rejects all attempts to scientifically explain away Hashem, the words of the prophets, and miraculous events recorded in Scriptures.

Here is where Judaism has gone wrong and rejected Hashem and His instructions during my lifetime.

Judaism has repeated invoked the name of Hashem and begged Him to send me.  You have argued with me, ignored me, offered me alternatives to my commands and then not delivered.  Hashem has not been remote all these years; He has witnessed all of it and it is you that has turned your blind eye toward Him.  That you have extolled the virtues of the Silvermans, Portmans, and Johanssons of this world over mine has been especially disgusting to us.

The first clue you received, almost thirty years ago, was when words and strokes in our Scriptures changed the first time.  Those of you who are intimately familiar with what I am talking about know this was in regard to ownership of Gaza.  Hashem was making it very clear to you who Moschiach is.  But you rejected my interpretation.  To be perfectly frank, despite the tenuously conceivable argument that my urgent recommendation might make things worse, I truly cannot conceive of anything worse that what has taken place there over the years.  Interminable suffering, atrocities, tunneling, launching, striking, blockading and perhaps the lowest quality of life anywhere on the planet.  I dare you to even attempt to persuade me why you understood what to do there better than I did.  Considering this miraculous change in Scripture took place while I slept in the same room Hashem gave me my mission, changed the color of my eyes, and used me to eliminate my enemies in Philadelphia I can easily conclude Hashem and I saw things the same way and your inability to accept that has been an egregious error on your part.

Despite your reluctance to adhere to the things I stated over the years you have had more than adequate chance to do things as I have said, on Hashem's behalf.  You have repeatedly refused to submit, refused to do as I have said, clung to the old way of doing things, invent new ways of breaking the oldest commandments, and always seemed to ask me the wrong questions.  The only things I am aware of over the years where you have done as I have said is where and how to go about destroying a nuclear reactor in the Muslim world.  That is nothing to be proud of.  Messiah was not supposed to be a secret-agent proposition.  Being ben-Yoseph is what you have imposed upon me.  For these and following reasons, I tell you unequivocally that I will not defend you.  You lost me a long time ago.

You have needed me far more than you could have possibly realized.  I was warned before 1981 what was in store in the mid-1990's; well before anyone tried to “decode” Hashem's laws.  That I was cast aside for a decade after we accomplished what He set out for me to do has been nothing short of reprehensible.  In 1997, the first of many chapters from everyone's Book of Daniel was miraculously removed.  You did nothing.  How is it possible you did not make note of it?  If you really had the intelligence you credit yourselves with, if you truly understood that it is also your mission to be the "light of God's words" then you would have testified loudly and openly to this glorious event.  The rest of the world, especially those who insist mankind created Hashem, would have been forced to acknowledge Him.  But you remained silent.

Since then the Book of Daniel, everyone's Book of Daniel, has essentially been cut in half.  How is it possible you could overlook such a thing?  Did you not notice the difference?  No scientific explanation can even approach describing it.  What about the incidental tables of contents changing, pages re-numbering, and the indexes that were revised?  Can you explain why so many of you have been all but oblivious to His works?  All prophets have told you what an egregious offense it is to ignore the verifiable works of our Lord.  They must not be denied. And yet, as a whole, that is exactly what you have been doing for decades.

While the Book of Daniel was being edited all over the world by Hashem, He also removed all the chapters that referenced the evil rulers from the tribe of Benjamin.  This should have also been noted for the information contained in this miracle.  The absence of something does mean something.  How could you expect me, or anyone else, to explain it to you if you could not recognize it?  I cannot accept there were more important tasks for you to accomplish.  You should have known whom to seek out by that time.

Some time after that, Hashem did something I understood to be even more extreme.  He altered the Torah, specifically at Genesis chapter 49, verse 27.  He revised the words that came out of Yaakov's mouth about his son Benjamin.  It should have been obvious to anyone that there was a connection to the changes I just mentioned previously.  Benjamin and offspring of Benjamin.  It should have occurred to you that there must be someone named Benjamin who could provide an answer to all of this Holy activity.  I lived so close and was listed.  I heard from no one.  By now you should realize the most appropriate way you should refer to me is "Binyamin Maakavi Shel Elohai Elohim."  To me, you are the stiff-necked offspring of Yaakov because you have not taken proper note of what Hashem was saying, even through Yaakov's mouth.  You are mostly defiant, as opposed to being agreeable.  You have fulfilled the words of so many prophets that described your inability to accept the words of the men Moshe prophesied about in Deuteronomy 18.  You are more like Korah than Moshe.  You are more like Oprah than Ruth.  More like Absalom than David.

By 2006, I myself prophesied three more miraculous changes in the Torah, without any preparation beforehand. The first two occurred in order in the first few pages of everyone's printed copy of the Bible.  Nothing could have been possibly easier for you to witness and acknowledge.  Again your response has been “no response.”  How many chances did you think Hashem and I would give you?  How many end of the world scenarios that you searched for should I be expected to avert given your lack of recognition?  You all remind me of Ariel Sharon; it's like you have been in a coma all this time.

Explain to me how movies loosely based on my life, albums not-so-loosely based on my life, assassination attempts stopped by Hashem, and cartoons have helped me?  I am now essentially disabled by your recalcitrance.  You have often been told not to test the hand of Hashem, and yet it seems to me that is precisely what you are best at.

It has certainly been for the best for me that we have gone our separate ways now.  I neither expect nor want anything from any of you at all.  Did you really think the Goyim were going to help me?  They have demanded even more from me than you have!  However, they seem to understand Hashem and me much better than you ever did.


UN "obsessed" with the Israeli-Palestinian divide? - RT

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I have been saying this for years. Believe me now?

I have been saying this since soon after Bhutto's assassination. This is a reliable source.  Now do you believe?

A Blog Worth Reading to Expand Your Knowledge

All too often I find people, who are ignorant, who are hostile to Islam, the Qur'an, and Muhammad.   If only they were aware that the Islamic world has been a source of scientific knowledge in the past then they might appreciate that which they did not formerly understand.  

Why people put so much faith in science over God is just a puzzlement to me.  Perhaps if the rest of the world did a much better job of announcing the modern-day works of God then they would have taken notice.  But I plan on addressing that more directly in another blog.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Temporary Insanity

A short story about something that just happened.

I was feeling a bit under the weather lately.  I have made a fairly good adjustment to the different climate here and have managed not to get too ill considering my predicament and the lack of good nutrition I am able to afford.  By Saturday night, I could tell I had a bit of a cold or flu coming on as I became increasingly congested.  I went to sleep Saturday night hoping to sleep it off as best I could and drink fluids to flush my system out.

Sunday morning I was in agony.  Besides being terrible ill physically, it was no comparison to what was happening mentally.  The noise inside my head was unbearable.  So many thoughts, memories, conversations, and voices were blasting through my swelling brain.  I could not shut it off at all.  I had the sensation that my mind was being forced through a blender or a lawn mower.  Nightmarish only begins to describe it.

I have also mentioned in this space the visions I have had.  For hours on end this day I witnessed hundreds of moving images inside my eyelids.  It was horrific.  Despite my attempts to "look away" each was followed by more and more strange snippets of metaphoric images of past, present, and future.

By 9 P.M. local time it had subsided, after twelve hours of this ordeal.  With respect to what I have done, seen, and spoken about the last few years I realized that this ordeal was very similar to what I experienced after being bit by the "Tick of Satan" on May 1, 2007.  Other times since then I have had severe and strange mental and physical reactions at very unusual times.  It seems to me that this extreme reaction to what is probably only a common strain of head cold could only be explained by the lingering effects of Lyme Disease.

At a point soon after I began to realize what this was all about I had that thought, "Hold on.  How long has it been since that night?"  After punching the dates into my calculator I got the answer I sensed was there all along.  Days between May 1, 2007 and December 26, 2010 = 1335.

What a coincidence.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

In case you were not confused enough as it is

I just finished reading "Treacherous Alliance" by Trita Parsi.  If you want to understand the confusing world we live in today, it helps to understand the confusing events of the recent past.  It is a great read.  Much like a slightly aged version of WikiLeaks.

Christmas Message From Jesus Krishna

Today is not my birthday.


Friday, December 24, 2010

And I Am Not The Only One That Feels That Way - from Arab News

Could someone please translate the caption?

Christmas Eve Message from the Messiah



A Joke About My Mom

My Mom didn't want me to be the Messiah.

But she thought I would make a great Rabbi.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Finally! It just took longer than I thought.

I told you so!

When I posted this video several months ago I predicted it would become my most popular video.  Something changed in the last couple of days and the viewership went off the charts.  Now, please watch some of my other videos.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

How Should I Know?

The shortest day of the year.

A lunar eclipse.

I struck the Earth again with my Reaper-Shepherd staff while wearing all of my favorite accessories.

A few hours later, the Bonin Islands were struck by a few dozen large earthquakes.

I am not much into Bonin, if you know what I mean.  I can think of a few people who know much more about Bonin than I do.

Have a great day!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Look! The Pot Calls The Kettle "Black"

This bold, monumental asshole, speaking beneath the image of the Lunatic False-Prophet of Doom has the audacity to exonerate twisted assassins.  You can imagine what I know will happen to this guy when the "right time comes."

What You Are Telling Me on YouTube

Viewership Ranking for Issa618 Videos the Last Three Months

Video S. America Mid East Europe Africa Asia USA
Fractured 1 2 2 2 3 3
Turakian 3 1 1 3 2 1
Buddy 2

Heard It
1 1
Shape Shifters



The table above shows the ranking of my most popular videos on my YouTube channel.  I know that there are many more things more popular on YouTube than my videos.  Considering so many of my videos are unique and touch upon many of the YouTube popular memes I am a bit perplexed as to why I do not have many more more viewers.  Before I discuss what I believe these numbers mean, I want to mention that I am very gratified that the overall demographic for my viewership has become much more reflective of the Internet as a whole.  At one point in the past week, viewers were equally divided between males and females.  For too long it has been mostly men.

"Fractured Images" and "Turakian Bitch" are by far the two most popular videos.  I would think for some reason this would help direct more viewers to the other videos but they have not so far.  It is possible that some videos are not available or searchable but they have all recorded viewings in all regions.  "Buddy" which has a Bob Marley soundtrack, has been popular in South America, which I believe overlaps with the Caribbean area.  For some reason it is not reaching the other regions as effectively.

"Shape Shifters" is popular in the USA and Europe but has not penetrated the other regions nearly as successfully.  For some reason this video has been clicked on in these areas but not nearly as often as others.  Compare this with "Heard It" which is overall my most popular video for Africa and Asia regions.  

Perhaps it has taken longer in the lesser developed areas to index some of my newer videos.  However, I tend to believe that where people prefer to agree whom deserves blame for what has gone wrong in the world, those videos are popular.

I also concede that much of my message goes over many people's heads and they only watch videos that contain images of women they find attractive.  That pretty much sums up viewership of YouTube as a whole.

I have put these things out there by myself, without listening to anyone's advice, and I just wanted all of you to know that I have heard you respond with your viewership.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Talking A Lot, But Saying Nothing

Despite what many of you might believe, this part of the world holds special significance for the Messiah.  This is the part of the world my Mother's family escaped from almost 100 years ago.  Some things just never change.

Mexico violence follows woman to grave (No justice, no peace)

This is just another tragic story in the world we all live in.  It does not escape me that I am close, not so much figuratively or emotionally, but literally and physically to this travesty.  I do not claim to know these people personally, but I understand their struggle.  Is it any wonder there are so many people who have not had the chance to hear the truth in this horribly corrupt planet we all live on?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Ivory Coast: Heads or Tails

Ivory Coast president orders U.N. troops to leave country -

It's not that I would want to get involved in every disputed election but I try to take an objective look at the facts. Even though some people might ignore certain events and claim that it does not affect them, these things do have affect on me. Killing people during a standoff will always grab may attention. I value people's lives, no matter where they happen to live.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Remember, I had nothing to do with this.

Everyone who really knows me knows I have working most of my adult life in the networking field.  I am not a programmer. You have absolutely no proof that I described such a virus in a phone call with Nicole Scherzinger on June 30, 2006 or at any other time.  I am very security-conscious and very anti-virus.  However, if I did design this monstrosity, there would have to be a reference to Ester included.  I admire the creativity here, for sure. 

Why would someone like me, a flat-broke, chain-smoking bum loser be associated with some bizarre kind of cyber-warfare?  It makes no sense.  I would be rewarded, rather than targeted, if I had anything to do with leaving the Revolutionary Guard's nuclear program with a few kilos of crap.

Sorry, Mahmoud.  The whole tunneling idea was vulnerable to some kind of plot.  Such is the will of Allah, who is the ultimate plotter.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Goodbye, MySpace

As someone who has used computers and software for several decades I can tell you that MySpace has all the symptoms of a product that is about to vanish.  It has lost direction, it has succumbed to the competition, and overall it is completely unresponsive to its user base.  Lay your wreath upon it; MySpace is about to become a part of the ash heap of history.

Blogger has really worked well for me, considering my somewhat flaky Internet connection via 3G wireless.  I thought MySpace was the way to go when I started documenting and commenting on my Journey in 2007.  As hindsight is 20-20, I realize I should have moved things over to a site like Blogger over a year ago.

So far the response has been encouraging.  More people in the USA and around the world are reading my material on the new site.  Since no one has commented on those blogs or subscribed I was unsure if there was any response.

Here are some statistics:


Since Late 2007: about 6500 views.  As this information seems hidden on the "new profile" version I am not sure how accurate it is.  Based on this number, and assuming my views and work on the blogs where not included, that works out to about 5.6 views of my blog per day.


Since September of 2010: 2042 views at the moment of writing this.  That works out to about 24.6 views per day.  That figure does not count the Poetry blog which I now keep separate.


As of the writing of this note, I have had 3,333 channel views and 19,288 video views.  Far below what I would have hoped considering how important what I have had to convey is, but not completely disheartening.  Since I uploaded the first video shortly after I started the blogging on MySpace that works out to about 16.6 video views for each day my channel has been active.

Amazingly, with facebook having several times the number of subscribers, their interface is cleaner and performs far better than MySpace's.

Also, I never received any MEANINGFUL HELP from a MySpace friend.  Is it any wonder I am saying "adios?"

The Neo Mahdi Paul connection

from September 22, 2010

I am not writing this post in support of myself.  Anyone who saw or heard me more than fourteen years ago has their own opinion.

In case you only saw the movies I wanted to mention a very interesting number of coincidental characteristics between Neo and Muad'dib.

In the Dune sequel, Paul is a self-realized Savior and Neo is the same thing, but without the opulence.

Neo is blinded in an attack, but is able to still see without eyes.  Paul is blinded and can still see with oracular vision.

Trinity dies according to a vision Neo has and he is unable to save her.  Chani dies giving birth to twins according to a similar vision Paul has and he is unable to save her.

Neo dies in a decidedly crucified pose after losing his beloved.  Paul goes out into the desert because he is compelled to destroy himself after his beloved has died and he has become the very thing he hates.

It seems clear to me that Matrix Revolutions was heavily influenced by Dune Messiah.

Did anyone else notice these striking similarities?

More Jesus Mathematics

on September 22, 2010  

One Messiah
Thousands of lunatics
Millions of strange eyes and teeth
Billions of ignorants
Countless copies of altered Scriptures

An accomplishment for me

shared September 21, 2010

Last night I was taking some shots of Jupiter, as it has taken a very good viewing position from Earth.

I took this shot with my Canon Optura Xi with its 36x zoom setting.  Not the greatest and most clear you can find, but for me a very good achievement.  If you zoom in on the picture you can make out the Southern Equatorial Belt.  The Northern Equatorial Belt vanished for some reason in the last year.

Upon reading further

put out there on September 20, 2010

I have mentioned in a previous blog post that I had read "Dune" and how it is easy to tell the main character is based on Jesus of Nazareth.  Take Jesus out of the New Testament story, place him in a science fiction setting and viola: Paul Muad'dib.  If Jesus did not die but achieved ruler-ship in his lifetime and his kingdom stretched over incredibly vast areas of space think about how powerful, and potentially corrupt he could become.   Not to mention those around him who would seek to usurp him at the first opportunity.

Two years ago, when I lived in Oxnard at a sober living house and was attempting to secure some assistance from someone outside of my ridiculous family, I began reading the sequel to the first book, "Dune Messiah," at the library.  I wound up leaving that abode, and as a consequence, stopped reading "Messiah."

I have just checked it out from the library because now seemed like a good time to resume and finish this novel.  I was having difficulty finishing off "Satanic Verses" for a number of reasons.

Here is an excerpt from the book, a paragraph that seemed so poignant to me today:

"There are many degrees of sight and many degrees of blindness, Paul thought.  His mind turned to a paraphrase of the passage from the Orange Catholic Bible: What senses do we lack that we cannot see another world all around us?"

I leave that for you to contemplate.

No...not quite

from September 16, 2010

Last night I went to a meeting because I saw poster for the event that piqued my interest.

As is often the case, it was not quite what I was expecting.

I could go on and on about what this was about.  I have mentioned these things in my blog.

The poster had many pictures of the various significant crop circles of the last few years.  I was expecting an overview of the phenomena and a discussion about what the messages contained could mean.

This is not what was presented.  The man who led the discussion talked about the Maitreya, by now you should know he is the most influential FALSE CHRIST of all.  Please do some research on this topic if you have not gone ahead and done so.  I knew there was a serious problem when this presentation started with the cover of "Isis Revealed" by Ms. Blavatsky.  She is one of the most evil women who ever lived; an unabashed Satanist who had a very coherent plan to undermine and infiltrate all faiths with her inverted view of the Divine.

Other people correctly associated with Devil worship were presented, none of the relevant facts about them shown, and all described as people whom had foreseen the age of the Maitreya.  There was a series of pictures that were shown of alleged miraculous events, all attributed to the Maitreya.  Listening carefully the presenter told the group that he is capable of anything and everything.  That makes him God, by most people's collective definition.

Most of what he showed was followed by "the Maitreya did that" and "the Maitreya made that happen."  Most of these were things that might be easily explained away.  There were two pictures depicting things that I am aware of, things that people connected to the events are certain to be proof of God's existence, that this man attributed to the Maitreya.  I could only imagine if the people who were directly connected to those events heard him let the Maitreya take credit for them; they would be outraged.

I found it not surprising that he showed one that I myself predicted, and he was off by one year on its occurrence, that he attributed to this very dangerous charlatan.  According to this man, God, the Master Maitreya, who lives in London is the superior to Master Jesus who lives outside Rome.  It soon became difficult to follow the bizarre things he was asking us to believe.  According to him, crop circles are created by UFO's from our space brothers.  All of which are being directed by the Maitreya.

At one point, when he was showing us some of these recent miraculous events that signaled the presence of this all-being who can travel anywhere at will and be every place at once he showed one I must describe.  There, for everyone to see, was the face of Jesus in the bit off end of a Kit Kat bar.  In the layers of chocolate and wafer was an image exactly like the face in the Shroud of Turin.  This man assured us the Shroud was legitimate and the Maitreya made the exact face appear when someone bit into a Kit Kat bar.  My private reaction was "That is the stupidest shit I have ever heard."

How many people do you think are actually buying into this?

The majority of this meeting was spent watching an excerpt from a speech Benjamin Creme gave this year in Japan.  All of this really feel good, sounds right, rehash of things you might have heard of and would sure want to believe in. 

It was all nothing more than a very pretty-looking, sugar-coated version of Satanism and substitute Jesus.  I know this to be the fact.  Of course, you can make your own decision about all of this, right?

Disciples - Why I have none

for the crowd on September 15, 2010

This blog addresses one of the subjects I feel strange talking about.  The very nature of it will point to some sort of deficiency, on my part or on others.  I want you to keep in mind that some two thousand years ago that the Messiah and his Disciples were very close but for a relatively short time period.  They did as much as they could to assist him/me and although recording the words and events was crucial, there was little they could do to help him/me with such an organized, well armed, wealthy, and powerful set of opponents.

You could say that I have the same type of opposition.  I leave that for you to decide.

Back in the 1995-1996 Year in the Dog Park I had what could be called a "rag-tag" group of disciples.  Some of whom I knew for several years before that year began, many I was first introduced to at that time.  If you take the most critical view of them you have to wonder why they stopped associating with me once I moved to the Miracle Mile district.  Why is it that when they did seek me out they mostly wanted something from me.  Why is it that as years passed by they seemed to remember and believe less of what had happened.  I wonder about that, too.  I was a few miles away and I did let everyone know my phone number.  I was listed.  I told them exactly where I was.  Apparently, they needed me in close proximity and depended on my regular visits to keep them informed.  It does not seem as though they put much effort in staying with contact with me; does it not seem it would take much more effort for me to attempt to stay in contact with all of them?  Also keep in mind that my family and my friends that were the most contemporary, were opposed to what was going on or described in a better fashion, clueless and entirely absent.  I truly believed I was working with the "new Family."  The old one was mostly convinced I was making things up, had finally lost my mind, or that these other people had confused me.

From the other viewpoint you would have to realize there were plenty of people, places, and things that would hinder them.  There was a lot of attention focused on me and them.  Many people looking to get involved and many people, who disbelieved for very strong reasons, who wanted to thwart what was going on.

Try to imagine yourself in their position.  A large number of strange and mysterious things occurring in a condensed time period.  People occasionally being taken over by "spirits."  Animals being abducted.  People who shot pictures and bullets from varying distances.  It would have to be most people's natural instinct to avoid such a situation, not to want to get involved.  But consider what the stakes were.

I understand that much.  I have to also concede that most people's perspective is they expect me, just one guy, to do many things for them instead of readily coming forward to do things for me. 

This is why when I finally had the chance to clear things up on the phone almost ten years afterward I was not surprised that SHE had plenty of demands and strange suggestions.  I had managed to survive for so many years through so many difficult times there wasn't much on HER side I was willing to listen to, assent to, or even consider based on the source of these types of promises.

There were so many changes in written texts over those years and I only got an indication from a very select number of people that they were even aware of these things happening at all.

So I ask again, "Where have you been all this time?"

I Need Your Discipline

What a Tear Jerker

for everyone to read September 14, 2010

Perhaps you saw it and perhaps you did not.

This is one of those things that, despite what anyone else thinks appropriate or correct, I must talk about.  If you read my post a few days ago about September 11th, then you have some idea of what it means to me. 

I also want to make note that I saw some video of what happened, as it was reported in this story:

First Ladies address memorial crowd

This part of what happened 9 years ago is the part that was so confusing to me at the time.  The passage of years has not altered my view of it at all.

While watching the TV that day I kept asking myself, "where is the plane?"

Although we have been "indoctrinated" that this was one of the most heroic moments in American history it also flies in the logic of physical science.  The heat of a plane crash cannot incinerate an entire jet airplane in almost every conceivable scenario.  The overwhelming evidence of plane crashes that we have disputes this.

I still remember that day.  The day a reporter claimed to see what looked like a hole in the ground that someone threw garbage into.  Garbage that was not really burned. 

No jet engines.  No fuselage.  No tangible evidence that Flight 93 had in fact crashed there.

I feel sorry for the friends and family that lost their loved ones.  However, I have never bought into the official, government and media version of what happened to that flight.  What really did happen to that plane?  What really happened to those people?

Once you really pry into the science of it, then there are some very real, very legitimate questions that need to be asked.

Beverly Eckert was one of the people who lost her husband on September 11th.  She was an activist and helped to create the 9/11 Commision.  Her work in the courts was instrumental in getting the government to open files surrounding the events of 2001.

Beverly died in a plane that crashed from Newark (where Flight 93 embarked from) to Buffalo on February 12, 2009.  Is that merely some kind of coincidence, or are you like me, and very much suspect there was something sinister about Flight 3407?

3407 + 93 = 3500

Yet another Jesus joke.

of course this one was the basis for a routine on June 30, 2006 but I decided to finally put this on my blog space on September 13, 2010 (what happened on that day, it was a Friday, in 1996?)

If I was a dog, what breed of dog would I be?
I would be a Heeler.  Get it?

What would you do?

added on September 12, 2010
Your job is to drive a chariot and administer justice.

Your horses will not do what you tell them to do so you eventually cut them loose.

Some people think you should never have taken upon the chariot idea at all.  They expected you to ride one horse.

Other folks said you would ride a donkey.

You don't have enough money to eat and are heavily in debt.

My favorite of all of them

disseminated on September 12, 2010

I have said it before to those I know I can confide in.

This is my favorite of all of God's Commandments.  Of course, in the world we live in, it has only been followed, sporadically, in certain parts of the world.  The modern world is so very much opposed to this one, but I know that with every fiber of my being, this is one God has become completely disheartened by.  Your complete lack of understanding in this area.  Your vehemence in opposing Him in this one. 

Exodus Chapter 22 Verse 17:

"You will not allow a sorceress to live."

Despite all of their protestations these people are antithetical to God's word.  They serve no purpose other than to entice, release, and empower God's enemies.  I saw a show the other day where such a useless and pointless person entices a succubus into this dimension.  You think that might be a good thing?  Have you lost all sense of what is good and what is bad?  You find that kind of activity to be good television, good entertainment?  These ladies cause more trouble than they are worth. 

All of them should be eliminated and their "craft" should die.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

September 11th, One Year Later - Not Nine

which was posted September 11, 2010

Dear Dad,

I know you are out there somewhere.  I know there must be a special place for you; a place where a slimy, fangs under his caps, iris color changing motherfucker belongs.  It most certainly is not Heaven.

I want you to know, in case you have been kept in the dark, that I have already decided to relinquish my share of the Trust, as it is called.  I know that we never were able to resolve all the differences between us.  I certainly feel you screwed me heavily at the end and I cannot forget, nor forgive you, for that.  It is time for this shit to end because I refuse to allow you to manipulate me from beyond the grave.  As we used to joke, "Fuck you, buddy."

Just so everyone else remembers you for who you really were, I want to go over some of the low lights of your pathetic existence.  Putting up with you as long as I did is a real testament to my fortitude.  Placating the monster in you would have tried the patience of any mortal and you certainly pushed me in ways no one ever could have imagined.  However, everyone else ripped me off at least as badly as you did.  I made some references to these things at your funeral.  Now that it is one year later, some of the more bizarre things about you should be explained to the rest of the world.

Firstly, there was the day in 2007 your eyes instantly turned sky blue which accentuated all those black rods.  Had you moved one inch, I would have flattened you.  I told Nicole I could make your eyes do that without using a taser.  I told you then I didn't want your money anymore and went about destroying everything I had that reminded me of you.  Now a year after your death, I will stand by those words and not take another bit of the money “you thought” you left behind.  In reality, you didn't really leave it behind.  What you left was a horrible mess.

I also want to take note of the time I saw you before I left town for Arizona.  That day in Century City when your irises were a sickening, charcoal gray.  You wouldn't shut the fuck up about the Lakers even though I told you I didn't want to talk about them, especially Lamar Odom.  You thought that shit was funny. You had a hard time taking my criticism and listening to what I had to say.  I remember you yelling at me, while your eyelids were closing over your eyes that were transforming color in front of me, “Go to the world for your money.”  I remember leaving you behind declaring you “the biggest fool that ever lived.”  It certainly is true.  However, you succeeded at fooling so many other people.  I give you credit for that crap.

I hope everyone realizes I am telling the truth when I mention that Nicole Scherzinger told me she wanted your eyeballs as a talisman to wear around her neck on June 30, 2006.  If that is where your eyeballs are now, then so be it.  She seems to get what she wants, no matter what she does.  I would also like to mention, despite the incredible stress I was under at the time, and the bizarre nature of your funeral, that your casket seemed very light.  The pallbearers were very strong but perhaps your shape shifter head was removed and placed in a jar the way I said it should have been a few times since June 30, 2006.   That would certainly help me.   It would act as solid proof for the people of this planet and enable them to absorb the veracity of my statements.

I also would like you to know how horrified I am that you lied to me, knowing you would probably die soon, when we spoke in June of 2009.  I really should have stayed in New Mexico.   But I pitied you.  I have been punished severely for pitying you.  I suppose you fooled yourself about the state of this piece of shit property in Phoenix.  Some people might think that is funny.  Dealing with your incredibly stinky shape-shifter shit is too much for me to bear.  That's why I have chosen to opt out at this time.  We both knew Lee Smith would do what he did.  Only an asshole like you would try to convince people you are not responsible for putting all this crap together the way you did.

I am relieved you are gone and I don't miss you one damned bit.  I look forward to the time I decide what really happens to you for all the things you did, the things you ignored, and the lies you told.

There are so many people that remind me of you.  I would like to see all of them die soon, too.

Look and tell me what you think

another thing I posted on September 10, 2010

I know the whole idea that Xtina Gagulera could have my kid without me ever being alone with her must be bizarre to you.  You must be thinking I am completely insane.

I know I cannot prove that much by typing and venting and all of that.

Just for a moment, look at this little collage I made.

The woman in the picture is my Mother on November 6, 1976.  The little kid on the insert is Xtina's son.  I think there is a very strong resemblance between him and the woman who would be, if I am correct, his biological grandmother.  They were born exactly 80 years apart.

Tell me what you think?

9/10/96 - What I remember

shared September 10, 2010

Tupak Shakur was in a hospital some where.  The last I had heard he was expected to recover.  Suge Knight was "okay" and people were talking about how lucky he was not to have been more seriously injured.  You understand now that was all a kind of cover.  He was there so you would not suspect him of being part of the plan to kill Tupak, to make him seem like the victim.  I have to wonder now in retrospect what the hell Calvin Pussy Pussy was planning to do.  Obviously he was more concerned with covering his own ass with all these bullets flying.

I had been living in the apartment on Burnside just over a week.  I had most everything put away.  It was a few weeks after I had been shot once in each arm at the Mulholland Dog Park.  As it had happened before, the bullets did not enter my body but I had those strange wounds.  The one on my left arm was very small and I was able to extricate it fairly easily.  These wounds are very similar to large bug bites or zits.  The one on my right arm was different.  It was deeply wedged in that spot where biceps, triceps, and deltoids come together.  It was embarrassing because I had it for so long.  No matter what I tried to do I just could not get the thing out. 

That wound would take me months of manipulation to extricate.  I tried to cover it up and I tried to ignore it.  Every few days I would try to work it and clean it up.  I just seemed to make it worse, and drive it deeper, with each attempt.  It served as a very real reminder that I had been "chumped" and it was bound to happen again.  I wondered when this very bizarre nightmare chapter of my life was going to end.

Little did I know that my suffering was really just beginning to become extreme.

Do I look like an asshole?

Blog entry for September 10, 2010

Dear readers.  Try to wrap your brain around this one.

The real assholes in this world tried to convince me this was going to happen, back in 1996.  They thought they could convince me I was going to live happily ever after on an island.  They showed me a bunch of drawings and pictures of THIS place:

I think this place looks like an asshole.  A place where a bunch of assholes would live.  They must think I am an asshole and that I would go along with this plan even though I told them to do a lot of OTHER things.  Would you go along with being a prisoner on this asshole of an island after everything goes wrong?  Why the fuck should I?

You know, maybe.  Maybe if you took me there a few years ago instead of treating me like such an asshole for so many years.  Letting the guy who killed my friend and shot me point blank in the back in ass go so he could crawl up my ass off and on for a decade.  Turn the other way as shape shifter bitch did not much else but harass me and then think I would just "magically" find my way there.  This plan sucked from the beginning and you never told me when and where to go, but played stupid charades with me for way too long.

You can take this asshole island idea and shove it.  I don't want to go.  I will not be treated like a prisoner, especially at this late a date.  I would rather die.  What makes you think I believe in this bullshit now?  I didn't back in 1996.  You still did not eliminate all the people I told you had to be eliminated.  How dare you treat me like your pawn.

If there is still anyone out there that thought I would still go along with this ridiculous plan, then I want to say in no uncertain terms:

Go Fuck Yourselves!

My latest playlist - Hidden Jesus Rocks

This playlist was made up from a few albums I moved over to my phone.  I am not sharing the music online but am posting it in case you want to make it up yourself and listen to my most current soundtrack.

In The Name of Love - Thompson Twins
Notorious - Duran Duran
The Warning - NIN
Veteran Of the Psychic Wars - Blue Oyster Cult
I Don't Want Your Love - Duran Duran
The Mob Rules - Black Sabbath (Dio)
Love On Your Side - Thompson Twins
Letting You - NIN
Silver Rainbow - Genesis
The Beginning of the End - NIN
Don't Mess With Doctor Dream - Thompson Twins
The Great Destroyer - NIN
Only - NIN
My Violent Heart - NIN
Crazy (A Suitable Case for Treatment) - Nazareth
Second Home By the Sea - Genesis
Survivalism - NIN

There is no acronym from the first letter of the titles like on my CD's.

And what did Muhammad say about me?

This was posted September 7, 2010
From the Holy Qur'an


Sahih International

And there is none from the People of the Scripture but that he will surely believe in Jesus before his death. And on the Day of Resurrection he will be against them a witness.

Muhsin Khan

And there is none of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), but must believe in him ['Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), as only a Messenger of Allah and a human being], before his ['Iesa (Jesus) or a Jew's or a Christian's] death (at the time of the appearance of the angel of death). And on the Day of Resurrection, he ['Iesa (Jesus)] will be a witness against them.

Say What?

and then on September 7, 2010

Click on this link to see my video version of Vessel - by NIN

I thought it turned out well.

In case you don't want to go there, check out the comments section.

I've pasted it below.

1 year ago

I'm an Atheist ... for the books:

Nice Vid loved it :-) 5 stars

1 year ago

You are seriously one fucked-in-the-head professional help immediately.

1 day ago

@1ProudFemaleAtheist Three strikes against you. Pride.  Female. Atheist. YER OUT!

1 day ago


Keep your helmet on, retard.

1 day ago

@1ProudFemaleAtheist I said the Bible would change and it did. A few times. I have cheated death.  Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me like that? Get a life!

1 day ago


Your a sick fucking psycho asshole, and I'm a rational reasonable person....that's who the hell I am....GO FUCK YOURSELF, LOSER.

1 day ago

@1ProudFemaleAtheist It is a shame more people do not read the comments here. Then they would see how wrong you are. Perhaps get some friends, if you have any, to check out the video and comments and let them chime in.

See you on Judgment Day.

Scary, yet commonplace

added on September 6, 2010

Today I want to mention something that happened just last week.

I have been living (I supposed stranded is a better term) in this town for almost a year.  There are a few people that I am fond of and I go to certain places where I expect to see them.  Almost none of them ask me to make appointments with them.  A few have moved on or moved out.  From the selfish perspective, they have heard all I needed to tell them.  They have, in their own way, taken these conversations we have had and decided to put them into actions and some have decided this place is not for them to stay in.  In one way, I am grateful they lent me their ears and decided to do something about what we talked about.  I admit that, in a few cases, I miss seeing them around.

There is someone else, whom I will not identify by name, that I like quite a bit.  No, it's not like that.  He is a bit less than half my age.  He also has very little and has a bit of a sad story about his home life.  He has that, you know by now, tell-tale mouth like a...


He went out of town for a bit and when he came back he was in a very good mood.  The change of scenery seemed to do him a bit of good.  Most everyone was very happy to see him.  This young man and I have had several conversations alone, just the two of us, and in many ways I consider him a "brother in circumstance."

As we sat at the table outside I noticed something about him.  Someone else also noticed this but made only a slightly vague verbal reference to it.  My friend had a great big smile on his face and his eyes seemed to be sparkling.  As I looked closer his right eye seemed to have a slight slit in it.  I have noticed this in other people I know; there was a slightly translucent black vertical line through the iris that intersected the pupil.

There are many people that have never noticed such a thing.  There are some who have seen this in people and it has scared them immensely.  It's the type of event that changes their lives and their perception of the world around them forever.

In the last three or four years I have witnessed things like this all the time.  It really doesn't phase me at all.  This young man is very friendly to me and I do not feel threatened by his presence.  But if you think I might be making this up then you are wrong.

I did not mention this to him.  People's irises seem to be changing all the time all around me.  You really must been fooling yourself if you have not noticed this phenomena before.

Wake up, folks.  These types of people are all around us.

Laughable on a Personal Level

added September 5, 2010

What do you call someone who does not know male from female and who has children out of wedlock?

A great big, wonderful, beautiful star!

Padma Lakshmi

On April 17, 2004, in New York City, Lakshmi married the novelist Salman Rushdie, to whom she was introduced at a party in 1999 hosted by the journalist and editor Tina Brown.[2] On July 2, 2007, the couple filed for divorce.[13] She is the model for one of the central characters — and love interests — in Rushdie's novel Fury (a novel dedicated to her as well).
When questioned about Rushdie's age (he is only seven years younger than her father) and her long estrangement from her father (whom she has described as "the most sexy, manic, in-shape, lean, tall, handsome man I have ever met"), Lakshmi has said that there may be a correlation: “I think that we are attracted to what we feel we need."
On October 1, 2009, after years of struggling with a gynecological medical illness known as endometriosis, a condition which causes irregularities in the uterus and has been known to cause infertility, Lakshmi confirmed that she was pregnant. [14] On February 20, 2010, Lakshmi gave birth to a baby girl named Krishna Thea Lakshmi. [15] According to The Times of India her daughter's father is Adam Dell.[16]
Lakshmi was brought up as a vegetarian[17] and has admitted that because of this, she sometimes becomes "squeamish" when sampling other cultural delicacies.[18] However, in 2009, she starred in a television advertisement created by Mendelsohn Zien Advertising for the Carl's Jr restaurant chain eating a Western Bacon Cheeseburger and in her second cookbook Tangy, Tart, Hot and Sweet she credits the chain with bringing her away from vegetarianism during her teenage years.[19]

Notice she got a rich guy to impregnate her; do you think she expected him to marry her?  Of course the whole idea of naming a girl KRISHNA is astoundingly ridiculous; would you name your daughter JESUS?  But since we are at a point where gender confusion is the NORM in the WICKED world we live in, let's all stand up and clap for this fool.  She is a stunning example of how we celebrate people for doing things completely wrong and support her.

I suppose there are many people know who go around thinking KRISHNA was female because this DUNCE named her girl after GOD in MALE FORM.

But she's so pretty!

Go ahead. Keep Reading.

posted on September 4, 2010
From the Holy Qur'an


Sahih International
Those messengers - some of them We caused to exceed others. Among them were those to whom Allah spoke, and He raised some of them in degree. And We gave Jesus, the Son of Mary, clear proofs, and We supported him with the Pure Spirit. If Allah had willed, those [generations] succeeding them would not have fought each other after the clear proofs had come to them. But they differed, and some of them believed and some of them disbelieved. And if Allah had willed, they would not have fought each other, but Allah does what He intends.

Muhsin Khan
Those Messengers! We preferred some to others; to some of them Allah spoke (directly); others He raised to degrees (of honour); and to 'Iesa (Jesus), the son of Maryam (Mary), We gave clear proofs and evidences, and supported him with Ruh-ul-Qudus [Jibrael (Gabriel)]. If Allah had willed, succeeding generations would not have fought against each other, after clear Verses of Allah had come to them, but they differed - some of them believed and others disbelieved. If Allah had willed, they would not have fought against one another, but Allah does what He likes.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Jesus Will Not Leave The Sauna from Jesus Krishna

You don't believe? This is the way we SHOULD play that one...

pushed out September 4, 2010

You don't believe in aliens?  You think you can convince me that there was never any visitation by off-world life forms?

This is the way we should play that one.

If you can come up with a better explanation that I can as to why there is a SCAR ON MY ASS then please do so.

But you have to say it to MY FACE!

Only by Nine Inch Nails - Oh my!

revealed on September 2, 2010

I'm becoming less defined, as days go by
Fading away, well you might say I'm losing focus
Kind of drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I can see right through myself

Less concerned, about fitting into the world

Your world that is, cause it doesn't really matter anymore
(No, it doesn't really matter anymore)
No, it doesn't really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore

Yes, I am alone, but then again I always was

As far back as I can tell, I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself

I just made you up to hurt myself

Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself

And it worked

Yes it did!

There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me


When, the tiniest little dot caught my eye

And it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling
Like I just knew it's something bad

I just couldn't leave it alone

I kept picking at that scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through

Now I'm somewhere I am not supposed to be

And I can see things I know I really shouldn't see
And now I know why now, now I know why
Things aren't as pretty on the inside

There is no you, there is only me

There is no you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me


Thinking of making a video for this one.  Do you think I should?

Looking back because I have not moved on...

insertion for August 31, 2010

When I honestly search my feelings and thoughts, I can tell you where I am at today.

Today I think back fourteen years.  Fourteen years ago I was essentially forced out of the house on Canton Drive and was about to move into the apartment on Burnside.  I realized that despite all my efforts I had lost Gloria once and for all.  Despite all my protestations, despite all the jokes, despite all the efforts I was not getting what I needed at all.  I remember being told to wait ten years.  Maybe eleven.

I think back to the tragedy of Flight 800 that I did not want to happen.  I think about how stubborn and wrong Maxine Sonnenburg (my half-brother's adopted mother) was about attempting to steal my patent (D 336,800).  I think about how everyone in my family wanted me to move from there but would not help me move from there.  I think about all the crude jokes I made up about Nicole being a shape-shifter and a slut while she was still in high school.  I remember being asked a lot of questions about Victoria Jaquez.  I think about the vision of the staircase.  I think about how the coming destruction of the World Trade Center was supposed to play out.  I think about how my Mother had only indirectly told me Geoff and I were brothers.  I think about those people telling me my Mother was going to die in a few years.

I also think about how I said I did not want Tupak and Biggie to get killed.  One of the last things this psychic, who went buy the name of Pat, had told me is "it's already started" which I understood to mean the two of those guys were going to die soon.

Ask some of those people, if you can figure who they were, who knew Tupak and Biggie.  Talk to the people who were there in Las Vegas or at the Petersen Automotive Museum on those fateful nights.  Ask them what they did for me personally after so many people had shot at me and not been able to kill me.  If they admit to knowing about me and what I had accomplished, ask them why they avoided me all this time.

And then, in your own mind, decide whether you believe in them or you believe in me.