Disciples - Why I have none

for the crowd on September 15, 2010

This blog addresses one of the subjects I feel strange talking about.  The very nature of it will point to some sort of deficiency, on my part or on others.  I want you to keep in mind that some two thousand years ago that the Messiah and his Disciples were very close but for a relatively short time period.  They did as much as they could to assist him/me and although recording the words and events was crucial, there was little they could do to help him/me with such an organized, well armed, wealthy, and powerful set of opponents.

You could say that I have the same type of opposition.  I leave that for you to decide.

Back in the 1995-1996 Year in the Dog Park I had what could be called a "rag-tag" group of disciples.  Some of whom I knew for several years before that year began, many I was first introduced to at that time.  If you take the most critical view of them you have to wonder why they stopped associating with me once I moved to the Miracle Mile district.  Why is it that when they did seek me out they mostly wanted something from me.  Why is it that as years passed by they seemed to remember and believe less of what had happened.  I wonder about that, too.  I was a few miles away and I did let everyone know my phone number.  I was listed.  I told them exactly where I was.  Apparently, they needed me in close proximity and depended on my regular visits to keep them informed.  It does not seem as though they put much effort in staying with contact with me; does it not seem it would take much more effort for me to attempt to stay in contact with all of them?  Also keep in mind that my family and my friends that were the most contemporary, were opposed to what was going on or described in a better fashion, clueless and entirely absent.  I truly believed I was working with the "new Family."  The old one was mostly convinced I was making things up, had finally lost my mind, or that these other people had confused me.

From the other viewpoint you would have to realize there were plenty of people, places, and things that would hinder them.  There was a lot of attention focused on me and them.  Many people looking to get involved and many people, who disbelieved for very strong reasons, who wanted to thwart what was going on.

Try to imagine yourself in their position.  A large number of strange and mysterious things occurring in a condensed time period.  People occasionally being taken over by "spirits."  Animals being abducted.  People who shot pictures and bullets from varying distances.  It would have to be most people's natural instinct to avoid such a situation, not to want to get involved.  But consider what the stakes were.

I understand that much.  I have to also concede that most people's perspective is they expect me, just one guy, to do many things for them instead of readily coming forward to do things for me. 

This is why when I finally had the chance to clear things up on the phone almost ten years afterward I was not surprised that SHE had plenty of demands and strange suggestions.  I had managed to survive for so many years through so many difficult times there wasn't much on HER side I was willing to listen to, assent to, or even consider based on the source of these types of promises.

There were so many changes in written texts over those years and I only got an indication from a very select number of people that they were even aware of these things happening at all.

So I ask again, "Where have you been all this time?"

I Need Your Discipline