Questions and Answers

Blogged on May 13, 2008

Jesus Krishna, the Moral Authority, moves to the microphone:

Q: Why did so many people die in the disaster?

A: There were a lot of people that lived where the disaster took place.

Q: Why are people so hungry?

A: Lack of food, too many mouths to feed, incompetent leadership, and many too many people are apathetic.  Too many people want to blame me.  I find it interesting to note that environmentalists are partly to blame for rising food costs and scarcity.

Q: That is not fair.  You are mean.

A: Look at yourselves in the mirror.  You are making too many babies on the planet that is not getting any larger.  Because you are making too many babies you are paving this planet over in asphalt and concrete.  That is what is adversely affecting the weather.

Q: Making lots of babies is part of our culture.

A: You sound like animals.  God told the animals to be fruitful and multiply.  Are you animals?

Q: No, we kill animals.

A: Good point.  Too many of you are hunting animals into extinction in the name of your culture.  Please take note of legislation that prohibits hunting animals into extinction.

Q: We did not vote for you.  What makes you think you can tell us these things?

A: The Scriptures and elements in space have been altered because of me.  This means I only received ONE vote.  His.  And that is all that counts.

Q: Where have you been?  What took you so long to tell us these things?

A: I was born in 1963.  It is you that took so long to find me.  Also, I was waiting for Fergie to get her shit together, IP V6 to be tested and rolled out, Christina Aguilera to get off her pedestal, Nicole to stop sucking dick long enough to call me, and several other things.  I do not know what Gwen Stefani was doing in all that time.  I have applied for many jobs and volunteered a lot of my time already, but people do not want me to work for them.  They prefer to collect money in my name without my permission.

I have also been harassed by the man that shot me in 1997.  The authorities did not do much about it except question me without warning, without giving me a chance to get a lawyer, and without reading me my "Miranda Rights."  My father and sister have also been in my way; she has tried to kill me in various ways.  People have ignored the writing that appeared on her walls and on her face.  My friends avoid me very often.  They think I should do for them instead of them doing for me.  If I was Superman I could fly there without paying airfare, however, you would want me to do everything for you.  Are you sheep?

Q: You are cruel.

A: You have believed the lies and deception of evil leaders for too long.  It is time for you to take responsibility for your evil ways, ignoring the obvious truths you could have found had you opened the books you had in YOUR HOUSE, realized they were rewritten under your nose, followed the lessons found there, and clean this place up yourself.