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Sunday, November 7, 2010

Submitted For Your Approval

given September 5, 2009

I know some people find what I write hard to fathom.  Certainly, if there is one Messiah and the whole point of the Catholic Church is waiting for me then they should have taken me back AS SOON AS THE SECOND PREDICTED APOCALYPSE WAS AVERTED. Are we really going to be annihilated because the Catholic Church cannot or will not take Jesus back? That is completely foolish and pathetic. What group could possibly get in the way of the Church?  The Catholic Church hierarchy does not communicate very well?  It would seem waiting for one girl to help Jesus, just out of the goodness of her heart, is also impossible.  Why should any of them share?  It conflicts with the fairy tale princess myths they are all raised to believe in.

Let me tell you an enhanced version of how my parents got together. After my Mother, the Israeli decorated war hero, became fed up with her countrymen who thought they would get her to submit to them she came to America to see what life is like here.

One day she and one of her girlfriends were at an Automat in 1957. An automat is like a cafeteria but all the food is placed in little serving compartments that patrons serve themselves from. A cafeteria for the space age.

My Dad and two other guys, whom I believe were NBC pages, tried to pick up these two ladies. My Mom told me she thought the other two guys were better looking, but my Dad was smarter. At one point, she asked a question about which holiday was coming up. My Dad knew it was Purim. That's how my Mom knew my Dad was more Jewish than his friends.

In another realm.

Dad: I got that one right!

Mom: Yes we are going to marry!

Dad: I am so excited! I cannot stand living with my parents anymore.

Mom: Do you have any idea how important the holiday of Purim is to our future?

Dad: No. I have no idea. I am a shape-shifter and I don't really believe in God. But my parents are Orthodox Jews.

Mom: Our first child will be Haman, but female.

Dad: That's terrible. We are going parent a villain?

Mom: Yes. But our second child will be the Messiah and he will save all of us.

Dad: That's terrific! We're going to bring the Messiah into the world. But what does Jesus have to do with Purim?

Mom: In the future he will solve the problem of the whole world being like a big Charade, a big Purim party.

Dad: That is really weird!  So, will the Haman girl and Jesus get along?

Mom: One of these days he will have to kill her, unless you do something about it.

Dad: I will treat them both the same because I only believe in this stuff tangentially.

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