presented on September 10, 2009
Right now I am going through some serious Hell.
My Dad is going to die soon; no matter what you might think, I know this scenario too well. This is even too much for the gansta shape shifter to overcome.
Eleven years ago it was different. My Dad was suffering from clinical depression. He had consolidated all of the family business in one location and a terrible fire consumed all of it. It was on the local news; the fire was so intense that firefighters helmets and coats were melting. It was all gone and I knew it as soon as I saw a clip on TV. My lunatic sister ran over there as if her lunacy was going to help.
My Dad then got into a one man crusade against the insurance company to get fair value for the loss. Soon all his allies left him behind, all the documents were gone and all the information was in his head. I asked him a few times if there was anything I could do to help and he responded "There's nothing you can do."
Within a short time period he became horizontal on the edge of his bed and would not talk to anyone. As time went on he was moving less and less, eating less and less. My Mother was ill-equipped to help him as she was always the sick one he cared for. My lunatic sister was making things worse. I would go up to their house and sit on the floor so I could be at eye level with my Dad. He became harder and harder to reach as he got lost in his own depressed mind. He refused all help and alternatives and was wasting away.
At the point where it seemed he would not get up, because bed sores would have kept him down, I made a calculated risky decision.
I understood the dynamics of my family, I do not recommend this to anyone. I came over and "dropped a bomb" on him. I yelled, insulted and threatened him. I left before he could respond and without telling my Mother what happened, I slammed the front door, but not as hard as I could. Mom called me up and was freaked out. My lunatic sister called and yelled at me for being as WRONG as I was. I remember thinking "Oh God, this better work." I was risking everyone with this maneuver.
Two days later my Dad got his butt perpendicular and walked around a bit. The previous few months had taken a toll on his fairly fragile physique. I came over a few days from that and he was weak but more responsive. Even weeks later my Mom and sister were critical and did not understand it at all. But my Dad was dressed for the first time in months and was beginning to eat normally.
A lot of people who hear what I am going through think, for some strange reason without asking for much info, this is the first time he has been sick. I have two other stories about how he almost fell into the pit and I had to get him out.
I hope this is useful to people here. I hope you understand I usually will go with the conventional approach but when it becomes critical, "outside the box" is what winds up working. Especially with a shape shifter like my Dad.