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Monday, November 1, 2010

What I Remember - Back To Basics - Cleveland 2007

posted June 26, 2009

I cannot explain to people, and have it make any sense, that I was some kind of freelance consultant on the Back to Basics tour of 2007.  Who in their right mind agrees to that kind of ridiculous arrangement based on a phone call with his enemy?  Compare that to staying at home while my apartment was being demolished would have been the alternative.  I kept thinking that someone was going to pay up at some point and get real.  Let me go over the highlights as I remember them. . .

I took a red eye to Cleveland.  I have some online friends in Ohio and hired a shuttle to their hometown.  I was very overdressed in a weird way.  They did not recognize me at first but were very happy to see me when they caught on.  I explained to them, as best I could, the multiple levels of my trip.  Watching the shows, investigating paranormal activity, and letting people around the country know I am real.  Although my online friends know me over the years via the gaming world, they trusted me online as legitimate and it was gratifying to see that they felt the same way about me in person.  After a good part of the day passed I went back to Cleveland.  I am willing to go out of my way for my friends.

I walked around Cleveland a lot by myself and at least once said "Yeah, waddawant?" when I heard someone say "Jesus Christ!" as an exclamation.  I put on my most appropriate outfit for the show. I was really getting tired at this point and found it difficult to keep a smile on my face.  I knew that this story was about to get "darker."  My seat was really close to the stage and too close to the thundering speakers just a few feet in front of me.  My ears and body could barely stand the sonic assault.

I could tell that Danity Kane's set was tightening up.  Compared to the Houston show, they were much more focused and together.  By this time on the tour I had noticed more Danity Kane fans in the audience.  The Pussycats were doing especially well in this show.  I blew kisses to Nicole when she did what I call the "sexy Moral Leader" point at me as she crossed in front of me twice.  Thanks for the acknowledgment, considering I had escaped death a few times already for and because of you.

Later, during that "Show me what you got part", Nicky waddles backwards and mimes a wipe off her ass and flicks the invisible stuff at me.  I admit to being shocked and embarrassed.  This is essentially a porn movie maneuver and I was surrounded by girls whose average age was approximately 15.  I did not have a mirror but I am sure I was blushing at this point.  "Nicole, you are shameless," was what went through my mind.

At the break, I went and got some ice cream.  Some guy who looks like he is trying desperately to hang on to his youth and dressed up like a cheap pimp, was being photographed while in line.

Soon after Christina's set started I was feeling the fatigue.  "I'm getting too old for this shit" passed through my mind.  As I sat there, unable to stand for too long because of my bad knee and lack of sleep, with my head in my hands, I sensed something odd.  Who is staring at me?  I looked up and there was Christina directly above, singing and pointing directly at me.  I smiled, "Hey Christina, what's up?"  She knows who Jesus is.  Isn't that special?

The fans really enjoyed her set, and the finale "Fighter" (which I have been led to believe is a song about ME) got a terrific response.  That would have been a good time to get even closer but it was not happening yet.  I had no place to go after the show so I was hanging around outside the stadium for a while looking at the tour buses.  I was thinking about that wipe off the ass maneuver and wonder how many times Nicky has done that to other guys over the years.  Was she doing for someone right then?  Was there a basketball player she did it for earlier in the day?  What a ho!

A young, loud, drunk couple comes up to me and he bums a cigarette.  He asks me what I am supposed to be, my outfit was a bit out of the ordinary.  I tell him I am the "High Priest of the Temple of Nicole."  and he gets a big laugh out of that.  The girl is too drunk and distracted to hear me.  When I repeat it to her, she bends over, waddles backwards and rubs her huge ass against my crotch.  Her friend and I laugh.  I sense again people watching and look over my shoulder.  There was a group of about forty women, young and old, that all had a shocked expression on their faces.  This only made me laugh harder.  I guess it's alright on stage, but outside the stadium it is inappropriate?  Explain that to me.

The drunk couple and I walk off toward downtown.  They almost get into a argument/fight with a tough looking guy who is walking his blond friend home.  I stand there resolute, ready to get in the way if their harsh words escalate into a brawl.  I was still sober at this point, so going to the bar with them was out of the question.  But I just had to make a joke about it; as we pass the Juvenile Hall building I grab the guy and yell at him "I'm taking you to Juvenile Hall!" and point at the sign.  He got a good laugh out of that.

I then went back to my hotel room.  I had to plan my route to Pittsburgh.  Based on the 6/30/06 phone call and a waking vision I had at Marina Harbor before I left, I knew I was going to have to negotiate a drive through a snowstorm to get to Pittsburgh.  This was going to get treacherous and I needed to be fully rested.  I would listen to brothers Todd and Calvin to get me through.  A lot of cars were spun out along the way.  I thank God for guiding me to Pittsburgh safely, but I was too late for the show in Christina's hometown.

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