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Thursday, December 2, 2010

The First Time I Saw Gloria

posted April 29, 2010

(This is one of the most important entries I will ever post in this blog space.  It might be the hardest to comprehend.   It might sound like the bizarre ravings of a madman, however, like many of the stories of my life, completely true.  For some strange reason I attempted to post another version of this blog days ago and it got lost.  I rewrote it today.)

Let's go back again to 1995...

I had moved in with Geoff to the place on Canton Drive.   He and I hit it off really well, and even though we did not spend that much time together before I became his roommate we had a strong affinity for each other.  I have some vague recollection of him liking me and looking up to me in high school.   I don't mean to boast, but as a Senior I was one of the highest profile people and best performers in my class.   A lot of the younger guys in the drama department thought they wanted to emulate me.  They thought they could learn some things from me, in part, because the teachers in the department said that about me.  At that point, I really had no clue Geoff was my half-brother.  But we sure seemed like brothers.

I also concede that I really wanted to live with Cosimo, the Malamute puppy Geoff bought a few months before I moved in.   Considering none of my friends wanted to move into the Marina with me, this was by far my best alternative.   And besides that, the night we saw the two Reptilians in West Hollywood was still a part of my ultimate reason for being here that had to be addressed.  It had to be solved.  The conversation I had with Chris Wallace was also in the back of my mind, and on some level, moving in with Geoff must have been the way I thought best to facilitate my achieving my ultimate purpose, the assignment that God revealed to me in high school.  We had both seen the aliens the same night, we should be able to put our heads together and figure a way out of the possible end of the world.

I thought I could get some additional clients if I farmed the neighborhoods in and around Studio City.  I was making progress on the Novell certification track, Windows server systems and the IP protocol were not nearly as popular as they are now, and I could get a lot accomplished there.  Soon after I moved in with Geoff, the Michael's store in Hollywood was going through some major upheaval.  My Dad, who had been helping me quite a bit financially, insisted that I work for him a on a full work week basis there.  I was not happy about it, and I had no idea how long that would go on, but I had little choice but to go ahead with his request.  I had worked in the stores over the years and a “good son” pitches in when needed, right?

One day I was behind the counter with most of the rest of the crew.  It was really quiet that day, maybe there were two customers in the store.  I don't remember thinking about much, perhaps what was going on at my folk's house, at my place, and scanning the floor for anyone that might need help or could be shoplifting.  The door opened and Gloria walked in.  I knew who she was instantly.  The woman I saw in a vision when I was riding in the car across the desert toward Las Vegas.  If we really want to get technical about it, the time it took for the ambient light to go from her figure, register as an image on the back of my eyeballs, my brain to process that image, and for something that felt like a seed bursting into a full-grown tree in my conscious mind took about one half of one second.  She was wearing a summery, flowery dress and a large straw hat.  She was happy to be in the art store and went past the counter and down the middle aisle.

My first reaction was to jump over the counter.  Emotionally, I tried to follow her but my body did not respond with my desire.  I then took off sideways.  I bolted behind the counter to my left.  I almost landed too far off the counter level and came close to landing behind one of the book kiosks.  As I landed, I placed my right hand on the counter to slow down and create a pivot point, gained traction on the carpet, and ran toward her.  I later described this as “flying around the counter” toward her because it seemed appropriate.  I could not move fast enough and could barely comprehend what brought her to me in that moment but I had to get close to her as soon as possible.  She had stopped at the end of the aisle and was looking both ways, seemingly unsure of where to find what she was looking for.  I slowed down just a bit as I approached her and asked her if she needed some assistance.

I tried my best to be nonchalant.  I asked her what she needed, if she had a list as most students do, what she liked to paint and all that sort of stuff.  Inside I was screaming my head off, “I don't believe it's actually you!  Do you have any idea how long I have been waiting?  Do you have any idea how long I have been looking for you?”  I remember her saying that she liked to paint in colors like red and pink and that sent her giggling.  That is one of the things I remember best about her; the way she giggled.  The way her eyes closed when she did that and how she looked absolutely perfect to me in every way.  How I knew we were made for each other.

I told her I would escort her toward the back of the store to show her where the paints she was looking for were located and I put my right arm around her shoulders.  What happened next is probably the most legendary thing to ever happen in my life up until that time.  As soon as my arm settled on her shoulders my body shuddered intensely.   The only way I can put into words is that I felt my soul leap out of my body.  I was barely able to remain standing.   It lasted just a few seconds, but that intensity will never leave me.   I could barely believe what was going on.  I understood with every fiber of my being that I had just impregnated her.  I wasn't expecting it at all, but in retrospect, it was the only thing that made sense.  A few people in different parts of this world knew I was going to conceive a child with her immaculately and doing that as soon as I got close enough to her to make it happen was going to make it happen.

As I regained my composure I asked her, “Did you feel that?”  I know that is one of the weirdest things to ever come out of my mouth but it was just my straight forward reaction.  This was completely uncharted territory for my perspective.   She giggled.  She said nothing.  I was not sure of what to make of that but as each moment progressed as we walked through the store and I helped her get her supplies I was ever more sure that she was carrying my child.

As we got to another corner of the store it seemed to me she was completely unaware of what had just transpired.  I told her that it was really important that I see her again and talk to her.  I know she heard my words but did not apparently understand what I was talking about.  I was literally begging her not to do anything until I talked to her again.   I thought at the time she would understand what I meant.

Eventually, she collects all her things at the counter and pays for her purchase with a personal check.  As is the case for all transactions of that nature I had to check her ID.  Although I could have scanned it thoroughly for all the information it contained, the only thing I remember was noticing that the picture matched her face, her first name was Gloria, and that her birthday was June 9, 1971. That was all I really needed to know.  I smiled.  Caroline, the store manager, had worked with her before and was familiar with her.  She greeted her in a friendly manner as a previous customer.   My mind and my heart were racing as she left.

I could barely wait for the day to end.  I drove home like an excited kid.  A kid about the same age I was when I first saw the vision of her in the car about twenty five years before.  Geoff saw me come in and he could tell something was up.  I had that wide-eyed, excited kid look on my face and I told him what happened.  He was amazed.   Sorry for the Scripture-type of description there, but in this case, it is entirely appropriate.  He told me it was hard to believe but that did not mean he doubted me.  We would see.  This would be the most spectacular event in modern history, if I was right.  She was all I could think about for days.

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