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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Gloria and the Year in the Dog Park - Working with Amateurs

for June 9, 2010

Keep in mind this was fifteen years ago.

In one way, it seems rather straight forward; as I spent more time at the Mulholland Dog Park I got to know more people there.  As new people arrived, the circle of friends increased.  The longer I lived with Geoff I also became more familiar with his friends.  Many of them attended the same high school I went to, but years after I graduated.  Before I was even aware of how it all came together my group of disciples, all female, and I met regularly at the Mulholland Dog Park at around the same time at the same bench.  Even though this might not be perfectly accurate, it seems they were assembled when I got there each afternoon; Gloria, Shelly, Tammy and Pat.

You already know about Gloria. Shelly was probably Gloria's best friend, also a redhead, and the smartest one of the group.  I remember her as very friendly, asking me the most intelligent questions, and having the most to contribute.  Tammy was one of the first people I remember meeting at the Mulholland Dog Park; she was wheelchair bound, was very skeptical and probably put on the biggest airs.  After a few months, a friend of hers was included, and for some reason I cannot remember her name.

Pat was different from the rest.  She was older, maybe a few years younger than my Mom, and clearly had access to a power that enabled her to see the future with a bit too much clarity.  Psychic, clairvoyant, augur; your choice in describing her would be as good as mine.  Sure it might seem strange, and looking back it sure was, but in many ways I knew she was acting as liaison for MANY other individuals.  Perhaps it would cause too much of a disturbance to have a wide variety of people come to the park to inquire of me.  Needless to say, we covered a wide variety of topics during that year.  I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination but I distinctly remember THEY steered the conversation to my penis too often.  Try to imagine that.  We covered concepts from every faith and path, Scriptures I had not read yet, scientific topics, controlled substances, the state of the world, music, humor, and dogs and cats.  Just about every topic under the Sun.  I could tell they discussed a lot while I was not there, which was fine.  However, there always seemed to be a point where it got directed back at my dick.  I was embarrassed for them.  I was especially embarrassed when they asked me if I could dream a dream where I created the Universe.  Within about a week I did, and it was an amazing dream.  I mentioned I was wearing a robe but noticed I had nothing on underneath because the robe was open.  While I was telling what happened, Pat interrupts to ask if I “was erect.”  I said, “No. I was slightly hunched over.”  They all laughed.  Another penis joke.

[I was standing up at the water's edge in my dream.]

Correct me if I am wrong, but there really is nothing in the Laws of Moses, the words of the Prophets, any version of the New Testament, or the Qur'an that addresses my penis.  Correct me if I am wrong.

I remember these women had to speak for Gloria a lot.  Even with her present they would tell me what she thought, what she had said, and all of that.  It almost became a second nature way of communicating.  They told me what was on her mind, with her sitting right there, and I would then respond to her directly.  Clearly, I intimidated her and she needed their help.  These ladies really had the best intentions and wanted to see the two of us together.

Although we covered a lot of future topics we also uncovered a lot of secrets from the past.  Pat wanted me to anticipate and predict a lot more strange and mysterious things to happen.  It seemed we got almost year of this under our belt until they finally brought up the dot on my cheek.  I know they noticed it, but until they brought it up, I did not.  Until they did, I did not go over what was in the dream that resulted in the black dot.  Once they did, things started to progress much faster.  Soon after that, I described God's Finger in the Sky I would command about ten years later.

I certainly had a lot to remember and I did not record a lot of it.  I knew many other people were recording these events in various media formats.  These meetings would spawn more albums and movies.  At some point we got around to discussing the girls from what I now call the Rushakoff list.  All the women Sydney Rushakoff mentioned about 20 years before.  In one way, I think the discussion was important because perhaps it might make Gloria jealous.  It had the opposite effect.  She became even more intimidated and believed her demise was imminent and assured.  Try to put yourself in her shoes.  Even though she would never admit to any of what happened the year before, how would you like to be known as the nitwit that aborted an immaculate conception?  I tried to play this line of discussion to my advantage with Gloria, but at the same time she was still living with Roy, the Basque Separatist Terrorist.  At one point, even though I told her repeatedly all she has to do is pack a bag and leave him, she thought I should move in with them and kill him for her.  I eventually came to the conclusion she was not bright enough to make good decisions.

A lot of what Pat told me about Nicole sounded just terrible.  There was not a chance this person would be acceptable to me but I tried to remember she had not done anything wrong yet, so I was willing to give Nicole the benefit of the doubt.  It was also at this point where the woman I heard of named “Bouncy” was in fact, Beyonce Knowles.  If you're a guy, or someone who has sex with women, what do you think you would do?  It's 1996 and these are your choices; Beyonce Knowles, a known quantity with a lot of potential or someone in high school almost no one had ever heard of.  Whom would you choose?  Beyonce would have been the easy choice.  I thought when word of that got back to Nicole, that would register with her, and make sense.  I told Pat, and in turn others, to warn Nicole not to become what some people were predicting she would become.  There was a particular issue of Heavy Metal Comics from many years before, where Nicole's character had her own lover but becomes fixated on killing off the women I chose as girlfriends.  At the end of that story, I execute her.

Some of the other girls from the list were known quantities, others were quite young and unknown.  Of all of them I indicated I had the most interest in Sarah Silverman because I had already had a crush on her and figured she would be fun to be with.  In so many ways I was trying to convey the message; “Sarah, if this redhead isn't up to it, I'm ready for you.”

It was around this time I came to understand how Sofia was my daughter and who her mother was.  I know it seems strange in retrospect but all the facts had been hidden from me up until then.  It was almost impossible for even me to believe.  After I put the pieces together I made a joke about it at the time directed at Gloria, “I'm sorry, Gloria.  You weren't the first.”

Considering how many bizarre facts have been denied, covered up, discounted, and eliminated it only makes sense so few of you understood I was the cure, the solution, to so many problems that we all were faced with.  Clearly, almost none of you even knew these problems existed.

As that year came to an end, because there was so much resistance in that environment, I was forced to move out of the house my half-brother and I lived in.   There were not that many clues anyone else outside of that area could have discerned.  Up until that point, only one part of the Scriptures of my people had been altered by God.  You could say that I didn't recognize Gaza Strip.  Many more words and strokes would change after that.

I moved out just in time for Tupak's assassination.  Tupak was one week younger than Gloria.

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