Thursday, December 2, 2010

Let's Go Way Over The Top

for April 28, 2010


This is meant to be bizarre. There is no basis in reality for this entry.  Whatsoever.

Rosemary: Hello?

Nicole: Hi, Momma it's me.

Rosemary: Is he dead yet?

Nicole: Uh, I don't know where he is now.

Rosemary: Nicole you must kill him!   We will not live if Ben survives.

Nicole: Momma, I wanted to know if you saw me on Dancing with the Stars?

Rosemary: No, I don't have time for that.  You better win.  Get someone to kill Ben already.  This house has so many problems.

Nicole: I thought you liked the house I bought for you?

Rosemary: We should have stayed in old house.  You should have spent money making sure Ben got killed.

Nicole: We tried so many times.   Good killers are hard to find.

Rosemary: What about Kamil?  Where is he?

Nicole: I don't know.

Rosemary: I want to go over it again.  Hilo, Studio City, Paris, Pecos, Tuscon, Houston, San Francisco, Louisville.  All these and more failed?

Nicole: Also Mesa, Arizona.

Rosemary: I still don't understand how he survived Portuguese Man of War.  He was only fifteen.   He was not such a good swimmer.   The jellyfish should have killed him when you were born.

Nicole: I know.

Rosemary: One of these days he will die and I will be happy.  Has Victoria helped you?

Nicole: She had her chance in 2004.  She failed.

Rosemary: So what else is new?   Lewis still gives you lots of money for pretending to be his girlfriend?

Nicole: Yes, Momma.

Rosemary: Who else you blow these days?

Nicole: So many it is hard to keep track.

Rosemary: I taught you well.  You are Rosemary's Baby you make people do evil things.

Nicole: Yes, Momma.

Rosemary: You will be Queen of this world or I am not Rosemary, ugly version of Imelda Marcos SBK mother of Nicole.

Nicole: Yes, Momma.

Rosemary: What did you do with Eden's Crush money and Steve Fossett money?  Did it all go up you nose?

Nicole: Well, not really.

Rosemary: You know how to use people and get money.  I taught you well.  I am so proud of you.

Nicole: Thanks, Momma.

Rosemary: Let me know when you can discuss remodeling this dump you bought us.

Nicole: Yes.  I have go rehearse.

Rosemary: You know how to do that very well.  You do not need to rehearse.

Nicole: I'm talking about dancing.

Rosemary: Oh, that.  I just got an idea.

Nicole: What, Momma?

Rosemary:  You get gun.  Give the gun to Portuguese Man of War.  Convince Ben to go into the sauna and the Portuguese Man of War shoot him and sting him in the sauna.

Nicole: Momma!  Portuguese Man of War cannot use a gun.

Rosemary: Ah, right.  Ok.   You get your friend Snake-eyes Medusa girl to lure Ben into sauna and she disable him.  Slimy Combs then shoots him in the sauna and throws Portuguese Man of War on him.

Nicole: Diddy is afraid of jellyfish.  That won't work.

Rosemary: Ok.  How about this?  Vashi Medusa tells Ben to go into sauna because she promise to give him blow-job.  Then Mr. Slimy shoots him, then Kamil comes in and throws Portuguese Man of War on him.

Nicole: Maybe.

Rosemary: Then get your friend to run him over with his car in the sauna.

Nicole: Sure, Momma.  That sounds like a plan.

Rosemary: You make people do evil things.  Cat people have enough money.  Soon we will all live in Paradise like Hawai'i when you were born.  Just make sure Ben who thinks he's Jesus dies already.

Nicole: Ok.  I have to go.

Rosemary: Then you buy me a new house.

Nicole: Bye.

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