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Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Alien Book Danielle Burgio Stole

posted on March 22, 2009

Danielle Burgio.  Sometimes I just have to laugh about that one.

Soon after I moved in with Geoff, who really is my brother James reborn, he finds Danielle Burgio at the Mulholland Dog Park.  What can I say?  She was a knockout, and all show business people have something to gain from other show business people.  As I learned more about her I admit to becoming intrigued.  She had appeared in "Showgirls" which my school mate Gina Gershon had starred in.  What a small world, huh?  Actually, when you grow up in Beverly Hills, show business people are all very familiar.  They are real.  Real and strange.  Almost all of them have selective memory and seem to think real life and TV shows are non-different.  Their concepts of propriety are not much to my liking.  Why do you think they have been oblivious of my real life since I saved them, and everyone else, twelve years ago?

Anyways, it was clear to me this girl was evil.  She was having an adulterous affair with the man I can the "Anti-Christ Impostor."  Having her around was like inviting Aeon Flux into the house.  I knew not to let my guard down at all.  She is a stuntwoman.  She is strong, agile, and well versed in martial arts.  Gloria, who should have listened to me from the outset, but hardly did at all, became jealous if I talked to Danielle.  I know this sounds like a bizarre soap opera, but that is what it has been like being Jesus in the "right here, right now."

I could go into a long series of Danielle Burgio vignettes but let's keep this blog to the alien book part.  At one point while I am living there, Geoff reveals he has an unusual book.  It is a hard bound book about one and a half inches thick.  It is about as large as a standard novel.  The pages are fairly thick stock parchment, not cheap paper.  But there are symbols and hieroglyphs on the pages written in brown ink by a very trained hand.  Remember, my family business was the supplies of these items, I can recognize a lot of the elements in these things.

Not all of the pages have been inscribed with hieroglyphs.  As I remember it, only about twenty or so pages had something written on them, the rest of the pages are blank.  The symbols are in several formations, small arcs, circular, spiral, even square.  Occasionally there are symbols that are outside the main formation in the corners.  It is so well made it is hard to believe this is fake.

Geoff specifically points out a symbol on one of the last pages.  It is the only symbol in the book that resembles a humanoid.  I would describe it as a Picasso-esqe, forced perspective design.  Round head, prominent nose, with one eye half-closed and a round dot below the nose.  I can tell that symbol means me.  The dot is the mole on the corner of my mouth, or it could possibly be the black dot on my cheek (Book of Isaiah), if the perspective is forced enough.

He asks me to take possession of the book.  I tell him I will not, in part because I have no really safe place to put it and I should be able to delegate some responsibility to others.  Do all of you expect me to do everything?  I tell him it should remain hidden and implore him not to show it to anyone.

A short while later, DB (as we liked to call her) comes over and I know she and Geoff go back to his room.  I was in my room.  I hear a loud crash and thud followed by the rapid "click click click" of high heel shoes in the hallway.  The screen door opens and closes and the 450 SL's engine starts and revs off.  I go back to Geoff's room and he is on the floor.  "She stole the book, " he tells me.  "What?" I ask him.  "She dropped me," he responds.  "Are you out of your mind?" I scream at him.  Obviously showing her the book was a huge mistake.

I order him to get it back from her.  He does so, but several weeks later.  I have no idea what she did with it, how many copies she made of it, and so on.  I know this woman is nothing but trouble.

There really is not much more I can say about this, but I would like to add the following.  Soon after I tell folks about how Danielle would be a good person to use on this "matrix movie" idea we came up with, she calls me on the phone and I hear a bizarre alien on the other end of the phone.  I played it off as a joke but it was a very bad thing, in my opinion.  She obviously has alien friends.  I tell my friends in the park we have a problem with Danielle and NOT to use her in the movie.  She gets  job out of it, anyway.

It is a coincidence that the nice old lady who played the Oracle died?  Or did DB have something to do with that, too?  If you really want to know what happened to the book, Nicole, then DB is the person you would have to ask.  Without going into the strange details, I am sure she has been questioned about the details surrounding this book, about eleven years after the theft. 

Do you still think this book will take you back to Pussycat Homeworld, or what?

Sheesh!

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