Thursday, October 28, 2010

Neelam Vashi...What you need to know

Here is what you need to know.
She has many nicknames.  Gangsta Bitch #1, God's Least Favorite Person (as shown by the edit of MY KING JAMES VERSION), Snake Eyes, MedusaHead, Head in a Box, Lust Personified, Whatchagonnado, I like Z.


She is Persian, despite claims otherwise, a very bad liar, and has an excellent body.  Her boyfriend murdered Biggie and shot me. A picture of her holding a gun to a baby's head appeared on my Oracle staff as predicted 10 years before. She is really Nicole's rival and not her friend. I first heard about her when she was less than one year old and said I would not marry her. 
Jon Tuteltaub drew me a picture, when we were in high school, that accurately reproduced the above photo a few years after I first heard of her. I remember asking him,

"How do you know what she looks like?" 
"I saw a picture of her." he tells me.
"Where did the picture come from?" I ask.
He tells me "You take this picture." 
"I take it? So I have to get a camera?"  I say. 
"You take it with a phone with a camera in it." was his reply.  This was in 1981 at the latest.
"Do I have to invent that, too?"  I ask him.
 
Fast Forward to 2006.  Neelam Vashi, leasing agent for Marina Harbor tells me she wants to "Show me something" in the conference room at the office.  There is a plan laid out for the semi-demolition of the apartment complex.  She stands up right next to the printout on the wall and looks at it very closely, even though I know she is NOT near-sighted.  She is seriously putting it out there.  I do not grab her though I could have done so easily.  After glancing at the plans on the wall, I ask her if I can take a picture of her.  She wants to know why.  "Because I can." I tell her.

She pulls her fingers through her hair.  The camera phone does not shoot the picture right away, her hair falls slightly, and then the camera phone takes the picture above.  I look at it and chuckle slightly.  It looks exactly like what Turteltaub drew for me more than 25 years before.  She seems to like the picture, then walks out of the conference room, working those hips like she does.

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