posted June 12, 2009
It has been a contest, and I suppose the world does not deserve either of us. Do you really think of Nicole as my match? Do you think if the rest of you align yourself with her that it will solve anything? Hardly. After all the years I waited and suffered alone after saving you the first time I went along with the deal with this devil. No one had offered me any alternative. Others that might have helped never understood I was Jesus in the flesh. How many times did my back go out? How many times did you expect me to give you free advice? How many movies, songs and TV shows should I hand over to you? How many churches did you expect me to reconcile when NOT ONE invited me in?
The rest of you forgot about me after I moved out of the house on Canton, at least that's the way I see it. At least Nicky knew I was Jesus for a long time. She just assumed I still wanted her after all the shit she pulled. Before 2006, Kobe was the last straw. How did he compare to getting your ass slammed by David Adefeso? Who gives a shit?
I have at times between 1997 and 2006 explained some key parts of the Bible to people (The difference between "Thou shalt not murder" and "Thou shalt not kill") in the context of a casual conversation. So when it was proposed that I survive a lot more frequent assassination attempts and then what? Tell you how it feels? Become "Car Show Jesus?"
There were more people in the USA that needed to see Jesus in person? Travelers from abroad that wanted to shake my hand? A few times I needed to be profiled and shaken down? Sent back at the border? America does not own me, but the rest of the world never came forward either so whom am I to believe? People that knew about the guy from 1996 and still wanted to know if he was still alive? There were so many years you could have done this but I suppose I had to go through all my savings and credit to make OTHER people's dreams and visions come true. But the love never really came back. Women flee at the sight of me, but you get jealous if I look or talk to another one. The person who told me she loves me the most is my lunatic sister. I never got the "I love you, too." I have been looking for all my life. A woman who believes in me and is supportive. Not a little girl with her hand out looking for what I can provide for her. Everything is going to be alright? No, it's not okay.
I accomplished what I set out to do. You gave her too many cards to deal; it could not get done in time.
The following scene took place when I was shopping at the Marina liquor store, having lost my sobriety to the need to self medicate the swelling brain and pressure behind my eyes. I am waiting in line with two large bottles of wine and cheap groceries. I see Nicole's strut to the low wall outside and someone deposit a very large duffel beside her. I know that strut by now, but as we can all read between the lyric lines (Wait A Minute) she was just after some dough; she never really cared about me. Only what I could do for her.
I really don't want to stop for her. She was supposed to get up off the sofa at the Grove years ago. That is really when she could have saved herself. As I walk past she shouts "She isn't gonna stop!" and turns away. "Ok" I think to myself, "It's already a few months past GOD'S DEADLINE but I will give you one last chance to get this right." I do not have X-Ray vision so I do not know what is in this duffel but her attitude is still all wrong and unless she can turn it around I want no part of any of it. Sugar Daddy is GONE and her other friends are dropping like flies. The black car had still not been retrieved and I was still driving the electric blue Mazda RX-8. If I can tell what really is going on in that shape-shifter mind of hers she is finally convinced that she is the curse and it is way too late for anything. It was never meant to be.
I set my bags down and I walk over to her. I notice her hair is long, wet and straight. This was an incredibly painful scene for me, so the following is the best that I can recall. Strangely enough, I think this was recorded. Maybe one day the rest of you will see and hear this scene. I never heard the tapes from 1996. I never saw the pictures people took of me unless I asked them to take pictures. I never heard the conversation of June 30, 2006 replayed for me. The rest of you have gotten your appropriate parts. You took as much as you could from me. Somehow you thought YOU owned the Messiah, when in fact I OWN YOU. I am not Little Red Riding Hood, Dennis. That bit I wrote in high school and repeated. But even though God has given me the instructions, this world has essentially made it illegal for me to be Jesus in it. Not my fault. I suppose you can thank Neelam Vashi for keeping the nightmare alive.
ME: What's your name?
her: My name is Jen.
ME: What's going on?
her: I missed the boat and I have a lot of dirty laundry.
ME: I'm sorry to hear that. I'd invite you back to my place to do your laundry but we use a key card system and I don't have any credit left.
her: I know of a place around here with an open door where you can sneak in and do laundry.
ME: You know where you're going? Sounds like you know what you're doing.
ME: I was in the same position where you are now but I made a deal with an evil man.
her: A Hebrew man?
ME: No, an evil man. He doesn't really care about me, but he doesn't want to have to bear the expense of burying me. I don't have much but I am willing to share some of what this man gave me. This should be enough to get your laundry done. (I hand her a $10 bill from my fold of bills. She takes it.)
her:
ME: I know of a place nearby where you can do your laundry. I can give you a ride.
her:
ME: There's a place where I have done my laundry recently. It's a good place. You go down on Lincoln until you get to Ocean. There's a mall across the street, there's an Albertsons there. You can't miss it.
her:
ME: Good Luck.
I see the black guy in an old beat up Honda Prelude who must have been her escort that day. She can't really do much by herself. It's very difficult to do much while being watched. And yet, I have. I am just one man. Blame me for everything if you can try; there really is more than enough blame to go around. Nicole can submit in a Baby Love video but not in real life. It's just a dream, right. Go back to sleep.
Do you think Moses could have parted the Red Sea with cameras around? Do you think Gabriel would have relayed the Qur'an to Muhammad with a live video feed in place? If there were, how many versions of the Qur'an would there be? Would you be more interested in how many pretty ladies were in attendance at Sermon on the Mount? If David revealed his plan for the Temple before he built it, how many critics would tell you how they could have made it better? Do doctors think Krishna was a lunatic for Bhagavad-Gita? He says he is God there. Does that make any sense?
How was it possible for Shiva to keep on living after he removed his penis? Why is it someone like Confucius could not hold down a steady job? Why are there so many statues of Buddha after he died but people tried to kill him during his life? Why are you so in love with Mary even though she did not do much more than give birth to Jesus and show up when he was dead? If she were interviewed by reporters would you believe what she had to say or would you try to read between the lines? If Elijah told you of his plan to kill the evil priests of Baal he would be stopped, right? The evil priests have basic human rights. They should be allowed to practice evil rituals. Who is this Elijah guy anyway? What gave him the right to kill evil priests? Just because he said God told him to do that? That's crazy.
P.S. Man does not live by bread alone.
The rest of you forgot about me after I moved out of the house on Canton, at least that's the way I see it. At least Nicky knew I was Jesus for a long time. She just assumed I still wanted her after all the shit she pulled. Before 2006, Kobe was the last straw. How did he compare to getting your ass slammed by David Adefeso? Who gives a shit?
I have at times between 1997 and 2006 explained some key parts of the Bible to people (The difference between "Thou shalt not murder" and "Thou shalt not kill") in the context of a casual conversation. So when it was proposed that I survive a lot more frequent assassination attempts and then what? Tell you how it feels? Become "Car Show Jesus?"
There were more people in the USA that needed to see Jesus in person? Travelers from abroad that wanted to shake my hand? A few times I needed to be profiled and shaken down? Sent back at the border? America does not own me, but the rest of the world never came forward either so whom am I to believe? People that knew about the guy from 1996 and still wanted to know if he was still alive? There were so many years you could have done this but I suppose I had to go through all my savings and credit to make OTHER people's dreams and visions come true. But the love never really came back. Women flee at the sight of me, but you get jealous if I look or talk to another one. The person who told me she loves me the most is my lunatic sister. I never got the "I love you, too." I have been looking for all my life. A woman who believes in me and is supportive. Not a little girl with her hand out looking for what I can provide for her. Everything is going to be alright? No, it's not okay.
I accomplished what I set out to do. You gave her too many cards to deal; it could not get done in time.
The following scene took place when I was shopping at the Marina liquor store, having lost my sobriety to the need to self medicate the swelling brain and pressure behind my eyes. I am waiting in line with two large bottles of wine and cheap groceries. I see Nicole's strut to the low wall outside and someone deposit a very large duffel beside her. I know that strut by now, but as we can all read between the lyric lines (Wait A Minute) she was just after some dough; she never really cared about me. Only what I could do for her.
I really don't want to stop for her. She was supposed to get up off the sofa at the Grove years ago. That is really when she could have saved herself. As I walk past she shouts "She isn't gonna stop!" and turns away. "Ok" I think to myself, "It's already a few months past GOD'S DEADLINE but I will give you one last chance to get this right." I do not have X-Ray vision so I do not know what is in this duffel but her attitude is still all wrong and unless she can turn it around I want no part of any of it. Sugar Daddy is GONE and her other friends are dropping like flies. The black car had still not been retrieved and I was still driving the electric blue Mazda RX-8. If I can tell what really is going on in that shape-shifter mind of hers she is finally convinced that she is the curse and it is way too late for anything. It was never meant to be.
I set my bags down and I walk over to her. I notice her hair is long, wet and straight. This was an incredibly painful scene for me, so the following is the best that I can recall. Strangely enough, I think this was recorded. Maybe one day the rest of you will see and hear this scene. I never heard the tapes from 1996. I never saw the pictures people took of me unless I asked them to take pictures. I never heard the conversation of June 30, 2006 replayed for me. The rest of you have gotten your appropriate parts. You took as much as you could from me. Somehow you thought YOU owned the Messiah, when in fact I OWN YOU. I am not Little Red Riding Hood, Dennis. That bit I wrote in high school and repeated. But even though God has given me the instructions, this world has essentially made it illegal for me to be Jesus in it. Not my fault. I suppose you can thank Neelam Vashi for keeping the nightmare alive.
ME: What's your name?
her: My name is Jen.
ME: What's going on?
her: I missed the boat and I have a lot of dirty laundry.
ME: I'm sorry to hear that. I'd invite you back to my place to do your laundry but we use a key card system and I don't have any credit left.
her: I know of a place around here with an open door where you can sneak in and do laundry.
ME: You know where you're going? Sounds like you know what you're doing.
ME: I was in the same position where you are now but I made a deal with an evil man.
her: A Hebrew man?
ME: No, an evil man. He doesn't really care about me, but he doesn't want to have to bear the expense of burying me. I don't have much but I am willing to share some of what this man gave me. This should be enough to get your laundry done. (I hand her a $10 bill from my fold of bills. She takes it.)
her:
ME: I know of a place nearby where you can do your laundry. I can give you a ride.
her:
ME: There's a place where I have done my laundry recently. It's a good place. You go down on Lincoln until you get to Ocean. There's a mall across the street, there's an Albertsons there. You can't miss it.
her:
ME: Good Luck.
I see the black guy in an old beat up Honda Prelude who must have been her escort that day. She can't really do much by herself. It's very difficult to do much while being watched. And yet, I have. I am just one man. Blame me for everything if you can try; there really is more than enough blame to go around. Nicole can submit in a Baby Love video but not in real life. It's just a dream, right. Go back to sleep.
Do you think Moses could have parted the Red Sea with cameras around? Do you think Gabriel would have relayed the Qur'an to Muhammad with a live video feed in place? If there were, how many versions of the Qur'an would there be? Would you be more interested in how many pretty ladies were in attendance at Sermon on the Mount? If David revealed his plan for the Temple before he built it, how many critics would tell you how they could have made it better? Do doctors think Krishna was a lunatic for Bhagavad-Gita? He says he is God there. Does that make any sense?
How was it possible for Shiva to keep on living after he removed his penis? Why is it someone like Confucius could not hold down a steady job? Why are there so many statues of Buddha after he died but people tried to kill him during his life? Why are you so in love with Mary even though she did not do much more than give birth to Jesus and show up when he was dead? If she were interviewed by reporters would you believe what she had to say or would you try to read between the lines? If Elijah told you of his plan to kill the evil priests of Baal he would be stopped, right? The evil priests have basic human rights. They should be allowed to practice evil rituals. Who is this Elijah guy anyway? What gave him the right to kill evil priests? Just because he said God told him to do that? That's crazy.
P.S. Man does not live by bread alone.
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