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Friday, October 22, 2010


about a day after the previous October 24, 2008

After seeing the devolution of the North American zone I decide I need to wash myself to feel better.  The aliens offer to assist me but I am so used to doing it myself I decline their assistance.  By the time I exit the washroom we are approaching the Fertile Crescent zone.  I am stunned by what I see.

The primary religious symbol is both artifact and time piece.  It consists of a long ladder riding the back of a turtle with the head of a lion, eagles feet, and horns all around the outer edge of the shell.  Placed within the ladder is an hourglass that runs for twenty five hours, each cycle.  The polar opposites represent the active/passive, warrior/peaceful, growth/destruction cycles the people of this region believe in.  The first half of the hourglass has Sarah Silverman, dressed all in black driving a red Mustang convertible.  Britney Spears is passed out in the passenger seat.  The car is running over a crazy looking clown with a pogo stick.  During this cycle the people in the region kill each other and take hostages. 

When the next twenty five hour cycle begins there is a figure of Natalie Portman dressed all in white with a blue tear drop shaped pendant around her neck.  People are required to forgive each other during this cycle and married couples make babies.  Although the schizophrenic nature of this region might lead you to believe there would be little chance these people would survive the birthrate outstrips the death rate and the population is increasing.  Larger depictions of this ritual timepiece is mounted on a figure of my Dad eating while he sleeps. 

Outsiders are not allowed in this part of the globe and are all executed upon entry.  One third of the people hate it here, one third think it is the best place on Earth, the remaining third believe it does not have the right to exist.  The people often exchange proverbial sayings on small strips of paper.  I indicate to my escorts that I have seen enough.

We soon encounter an amalgam of faiths that permeate the Eastern Asia sphere.  All the adherents worship a mostly undressed Neelam Vashi engaged in sex with multiple partners.  There are more versions of this goddess type than I can count but all of them are depicted with her holes filled surrounded by little girls cheering.  Little has changed as all the people in this region are exceedingly sadistic and masochistic.  They kill each other with impunity and spend most of their ritual time arranging flowers on or around the super whore goddess and burning incense.  I have a lot of difficulty determining what it is these people believe in but it is obvious they want to be like the goddess and be fertile enough to have enough people to rape, torture, and deceive each other.  Robots seem to be in charge of farming, sustaining, and rebuilding this continent.  The people in this region have the most difficulty communicating with each other.  In a few instances I notice the sex goddess has what can best be described as a baby Beyonce Knowles looking up at her in admiration.  I find myself filled with a wide mix of emotional reactions as the pilot steers us back toward the European Union.

When we arrive there I am bit surprised that not much has changed.  The people walk about with staffs and wands and cast spells on each other and they continually vote on what changes should be made to official versions of their new bible they call "The Codex."  Although there are numerous strange women they all devote their lives to there is one phrase that unites all of their idolatrous images.  Inscribed on a ribbon is an Esperanto phrase that translates to "The Universe destroyed the Earth, the Aliens will save us."  Most people believe Jodie Foster will be the one to make contact with the alien saviors.  Grey eyed people get preferential treatment in this part of the world.

As we are about to cross the Atlantic I ask my friends to take me to Wiltshire so I can see if there are any remaining crop circles or vestiges of recent divine activity.  When we get to Milk Hill there stands an enormous neon edifice which I assume is the capital of this area's faith.  At the top is Jodie Foster listening to the radio with headphones and her bastard children at her side.  Below her is Madonna with many more children.  Below her is Minnie Driver with one child. Surrounding this visage are pieces of stone, grains, and leather.  Above the visage are two winged women that bear a strong resemblance to Gloria and Sofia.  When people get close to this bizarre idol, music blares from hidden speakers.  Most of the tunes are by the Beatles and U2.  I do not have the time to hear all of the music but after the spaceship uploads all the music I notice the playlist also has songs by Bananarama, Annie Lennox, Carla Bruni, The Spice Girls, and the Tom Tom Club.

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